I Feel For My Beast, Name J. On Tagged

by Lady J.

Gender: Female
Age: 53
Race/ethnicity: African American
Location: Philadelphia
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: Non Teaching Assistant
Relationship status: Divorced, and still single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Unexperience
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? One (husband) two rapists and three molesters
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

I Feel For My Beast, Name J. On Tagged

How long ago did this hookup happen? Six weeks ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Cyber Sex and Therapy

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I can describe him. He wears a mask, from Beauty and Beast. (Walt Disney version) He’s Puerto Rican. 57 yrs old. I don’t know him personally. I never seen him before. We met on Tagged.com. I was excited that he actually wanted to Tag me.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I joined Tagged.com two months ago. During that time I saw that he tagged me. I befriend/Tagged him. Sent him a wink and comment saying hello and How are you. I would say that he instigated the first move..

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had cyber sex. Well, I did. I actually did the act. Touching my vagina. Putting ice on nipples. I was afraid to touch myself. I never touched my vagina like that before. I guess I came. I’ve never had one before. He said, he came. He never judged me. We talked about what happen with me touching myself. He was informative of leading/guiding me, how to masturbate. We talked about what I felt. Of my mental thoughts of doing this. How I responded with the ice on my breast. Describing how my vagina felt, when I inserted my fingers. Saying good night and don’t forget to the exercise he had given me.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I had my KY Gel. Towel. And showered afterwards. My tubes are tied/burned. LOL We laugh about how safe this was.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was looking for friendship or potential husband.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, I had two or three glasses of white wine.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt alive. My body felt invigorated. My hopes would be that we would continue to be friends. Or better yet, my husband or life coach.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My co-workers. They gave me their opinions. Shouting. I am too old for this shit. That he was just getting his freak on. And that I was belittling myself.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes. I was shocked at first. Because, I’ve told anyone of my condition. He was like a god send. He wanted to help me. His whole conversations was, he was here to help me. That is was just about me. He even sent me here.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not in a million years. It may sound crazy or unbelievable.  But for the first time in my life. He was the first man, who spoke to my all three parts of me. (mind, body and spirit). He never laugh or judged me. He took his time with me. He treated me with respect. Never asked for anything. He was the perfect gentleman.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? We laugh a lot. I can never meet me. Yes, I think a little different of my sexuality and my old wives tales.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I would like to say. That being 53, one may think, How could I gone most of life being celibate? To have never experienced an orgasm. To have had one man in my life. (ex-husband) Never dated after the eighteen years of the divorce. That never say never. That I can and will forever be learning something new and old.

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