What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I Watched as My Girl Was Taken By Another Man
How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Unwanted cuckolding
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? N. was my girlfriend back then. We had been together for about 3 years. She had long blond hair, blue eyes, wore glasses, was slim and about 160 cm tall. Her boobs were not very big, size B as I recall. She was 24 back then.
B. was a close friend of mine back then. He was tall, good-looking, very sporty. He had curly brown hair, tattoos on his muscular chest. From going swimming with him, I knew that B. was well endowed. He was sexually very confident and had been with many women. I really envied him for that.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? N. was the first and only girlfriend I ever had. I had been with N. for about three years when the story happened. Our relationship was already on rocky grounds and had just decided to stop living together. Still students, we both had found new places to live in. N’s father had bought her an apartment for herself, and she had a party to celebrate moving into her own place.
B. had warned me that my relationship with N. was about to come to an end. According to him, she was already looking at other men. I felt hurt by that revelation and started arguing against it. The discussion ended with B.’s statement that he could have sex with N. if he wanted to.
Back to the party: There were about a dozen of our friends at N’s party. Not being very happy with the status of my relationship, I had a bit too much to drink. Then I noticed the horror: I saw N. and B. chatting with each other, looking deep into each other’s eyes and – holding hands. I quickly looked away and distracted myself by talking to someone else. After that sight, I drank even more and started to feel very drowsy. The party was taking place on the balcony, in the kitchen, and in the living room. So I went to the bedroom with the intent to rest just for a little while. I passed out and awoke when the other guests had already gone.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I woke up in the bedroom, shocked that all the chatter had ceased and there was silence. I got up and stumbled towards the living room. I stayed halfway in the doorway when I saw them.
N. and B. were both naked. Their clothes were on the floor amidst the empty bottles and snacks of the party. They were on the sofa, N. with her back to me. B. did not look up at me, for he was occupied with N. She was sucking his cock. I was shocked. I could not say anything, I could not look away, I was so drunk that the thought did not cross my mind that either of them could spot me any second.
In three years of being together, N. had never sucked my cock, yet she was happily nibbling at B.s huge instrument. She had always told me that she felt sucking cock was disgusting and it probably tasted like pee. How could she suddenly forget about those ideas? Was she drunk as well? N. usually did not drink that much. B.’s words had come true, I do not know how much he had planned on doing that to me. I was deeply hurt but could not stop to watch.
N. and B. embraced into a long passionate kiss. B.s dick still stood up and I felt his penis head was looking at me.
Giggling, N. mounted B.s dick bareback. They fucked on the sofa for what seemed a long time in my drunken mind, so engulfed by each other that they were still not noticing me. The funny thing is that I found that quite normal and still thought they would never see me and I could keep on watching them.
N. moaned harder riding B.s cock than she had ever done with me.
Finally, B. took notice of me. He simply asked, while he was still fucking: “What are you still doing here?”
Without giving an answer, without taking any note of N.’s reaction, I rushed out of the apartment and onto the street. I went home to masturbate contemplating the event I had been an unwilling witness of.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? N. paid me a visit the next day to tell me that she had decided to break up with me. She did not apologize for what she had done, and I did not demand an apology. She wanted to be with B. But B. was not interested in a relationship with her. N. felt hurt about the rejection. Nevertheless, I know that they met up with each other for sex for a couple of times.
B. apologized to me for seducing my girlfriend. His excuse was that if he had not done it, someone else would have. I told him that he had nothing to apologize for, this had also been N.’s decision.
B. made me admit to him that I had enjoyed watching him fucking N. We remained friends and he told me about the later casual hookups he had with N. in all detail. B. also told me about the sex I had with other girls. He was a bit of a showoff when it came to that and I have reason to believe he enjoyed torturing me in this way. He knew that I was jealous and envious of his exploits.
I have never had another girlfriend after N. I felt so hurt about what happened and I don’t believe I deserve to have a wife. So I have been celibate for 18 years now with no prospect of this ever changing.
In all those years since then, I have masturbated a lot to the memory of N.s and B.s hookup. It is a bittersweet memory that will stay with me until I die.
N. eventually married someone else.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Some other friends eventually found out about what had happened. It was pretty embarrassing for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? I never could stomach to approach another woman after what had happened with N.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having a great memory to wank over.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Well, being a celibate because of it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I have witnessed that B. was much better at satisfying N. N. did the right thing to hook up with him.
I came to the conclusion that I am not man enough to have a female partner. Therefore, there are no women in my life.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe casual sex is a great thing, I envy the people who can have it. I wish I was one of them.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love reading about all the joy that other people can have that I am deprived of.
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