I’m Still Confused

by Athena

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

I’m Still Confused

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was short, somewhat attractive. We met through an app, he seemed like a nice guy.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was our second date, he told me if I wanted to eat and watch a movie. I said yes, expecting a nice meal before going to a movie theatre. It ended up being a drive through on a fast food place and going to his house.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He started kissing me and I was uncomfortable with it, I just wanted to eat and watch the movie. He took my food away from me and the situation started escalating, I told him I didn’t want to but he kept going. I ended up just letting him do it.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was very confused. I didn’t know how to feel and we ended up not talking ever since. I regret it, I wish I would’ve done more to stop him

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I felt I didn’t have a choice, in a strangers home. I said no and he didn’t seem to listen

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Nothing

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I wouldn’t want to do it again

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t think it’s a healthy thing to do, but it’s up to the people

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a good project

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!