What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Asia
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Very fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 43
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
One-Nighter in the City
How long ago did this hookup happen? About a month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ll call him M. I met him on Tinder a few weeks before the actual hook up. He was about 5’6″ inches tall, had a beard and was average weight. Not my usual type. We went out for a few drinks the first time we met but we both had work in the morning so nothing happened then.
The next time we met I called him after a night out with the intention of sleeping together but I forgot my condoms so nothing really happened.
Before we finally got together I knew he wasn’t the greatest guy, a self described ‘nihilist,’ he was full of himself and pretty arrogant but we had good chemistry.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met for a drink at a street bar near his house, drank a lot of beer together and chatted. After several drinks he wanted to call it a night so we started heading back to his. It was a short walk from the bar. It was kind of understood that something was going to happen after our last failed attempt, he knew I was sleeping over at his. When we were walking home we stopped to kiss a few times, I guess it was mutually instigated.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got back to his place we took each others clothes off. I absolutely love oral so before we had sex I asked him if he would do it to me. We laid on the bed with me on my back and he started to go down on me. He fingered me at the same time and before I came, he started fingering my arse before flipping me over and rimming me for a while.
I sat up and started going down on him, putting his hand on the back of my head so he could push me down on to him (I like that). I went down on him until he came in my mouth and I left the room to spit it out into the sink. When I came back in, I asked him to call me a whore while he fingered me, he started choking me which I really liked. I slapped him in the face a few times and he did that to me as well. Then he told me it was weird that I liked stuff like that, that he knew people who’d been raped and had this stuff done to them. That was a bit of a downer and a weird thing to say. I told him he obviously didn’t and shouldn’t do anything he didn’t feel comfortable with, and I said this multiple times but he said it was fine and we carried on.
He put a condom on and climbed on top of me after a while and we had sex. It didn’t last very long but after the other stuff we’d been fooling around for hours so I didn’t mind.
The next morning we 69d until we both came again and I left shortly after that.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hook up I left his house quickly and we spoke from time to time while I tried to arrange another date but he kept blowing me off. Finally after promising to arrange another date with me for about a month he told me he was seeing someone else and didn’t want to have two flings on the go at one time. I deleted his number. I was upset cause he was the best sex I’d had in this small town and felt foolish the way he’d acted and led me on afterwards.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told the people I lived with. They congratulated me
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? A little bit but not really. Just gutted it’s not going to happen again.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The oral.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The rejection afterwards / the actual penetration.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I guess I felt a little sorry for myself afterwards but I think casual sex is great. I am trying to give it a rest for a while but I love sex and without a boyfriend there aren’t many other options.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is great if both parties want the same thing. I have no judgement on people that have casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Its great to see what other people are doing.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!