The First – The Last

by Kitten

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Race/ethnicity: Indian
Current location: Amsterdam
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Teacher
Relationship status: Married
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The First-The Last

How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Rape ends in Love

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew the guy from  chat. We met in Adam parc! I did see a few pics, but every time he looked so different, that I wondered if it was the same guy’s picture all the time.. But when I saw him in real: a slightly  toned guy, slim, tall. Dark long hair. Skin without problem. Looked somehow like a model from a movie.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Well, after chatting the nights away, and loosing our hearts to someone unseen, we decided to meet. Btw I just turned 19 years old. I went actually shopping in the capital city and he suddenly called. I could not lie and not him I was in his hometown. Shopping and having fun. He said he wanted to meet me and that I should come to the Vondelpark. That’s a huge parc in Adam. Vondelpark is for Amsterdam the same as Central Park is for New York. It was after shopping time that we met in the park. Though girls are always late, this was not the case. I was there 1 hour more early then he was. I walked around in the parc while he called me several times to say he was on the way. Making sure I would not leave. I was wearing a black cute short dress. Tight up, loose from middle. It was summer, so a dress like that was just fine for the weather. It was not sexy or sth. Just cute. Anyways, after almost a whole hour I saw a guy walking to the entrance. He looked at me in a way and I knew it had to be him. I kinda recognised him from the pics and he just looked so nice. I was actually kinda nervous and scared as well. He walked straight to me and he introduced himself and we walked into the park. While we were walking he placed his arm around my neck, resting on my shoulder. We walked and we found a bench looking that was surrounded at the back by trees and looked over a pond. I sat next to him and he kissed me. It was my first real kiss and I felt like I was getting weak. We kissed some more and then I stood up.

Wanted to walk to see into the water, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, but now not on the bench but standing in front of him. My face in his direction.. I felt his left hand moving my thin underwear and he was touching my vagina. Searching for my clit. He touched it, stroked it. I was so overwhelmed. But when he touched it, i automatically spread my legs slightLy. Standing there with my legs a little wide. I didn’t expect this to happen so fast! Also the feelings were so new. I never made love before neither anyone touched me there and yes, I had played with my clit but not like this! He touched it faster and faster and my breath taking was getting faster and faster. And then suddenly I felt something in me. Ouch! It did not feel nice. He smiled and pulled me on his lap. Again touching my clit. ‘I am a virgin, please don’t place your fingers’. He didn’t let me talk more, cause he was rubbing my clit so fast while he was kissing me. My lip was bleeding, but I didn’t know at that moment. I felt his fingers going again to the tiny entrance and I whispered: ‘no, please don’t. I even never placed my own finger inside’. ‘ sSorry, I didn’t know. I only placed my finger top in. I’ll not place my finger anymore inside’.  I only answered with ‘okay’. I was losing it from his touching. I was so wet. I knew it. Cause he placed his wet finger in his mouth, touched my clit again and made me kiss him, sofort I could taste myself through his mouth. He pulled me on his lap. My legs spreaded. His fingers continued his game. I was out of energy and I kissed him. Gently pushing his hand away from between my legs. He kissed me back. ‘Shall we walk a lil in the park before I have to go home?’ He agreed and I stood up, so did he.

I wanted to walk away but he grabbed me from behind. His hand was touching me again there. My knees were getting weaker.. Felt like I was going to fall… He held me tight so that I wld not fall down. And felt him from behind against me. ‘No, no.. Please don’t’  but he did not respond on my no. ‘ I am not ready, no’. I did not shout. It was a public place and it would embarrass me too much. And his arms held me so tight. And he started to push harder. ‘Bend forward’ he said. ‘No’. ‘ bend forward’ he said again. Louder and less polite. I didn’t have a choice and I bent forward. My butt up, my head pointing to my toes. It felt like he did a lot of effort to get in me. But finally he pushed it all in. It was so painful. It hurted. But I didn’t dare to stop him. After he was inside, he started to move very softly. ‘I only place my tip’ he whispered in my ear. It was an unpleasant moment. The pain was so much. Slowly I felt how he got slightly deeper. But he didn’t place it totally inside. He took it out. And went on his knees and I felt sth cold. It was his tongue. ‘No, don’t. It’s strange’. I tried to walk away, but he was holding my underwear that I was wearing, so I could not get away. ‘We are not done yet’. He made me bent over the bench and he came in again. Harder now. It was still hurting… He kept moving and moving and the pain got unbearable. I was heading to the grass.. My knees were so weak. The pain was like I was getting stitched without painkillers. Luckily he was done. It was now that I saw his penis. It was soft. I touched my vagina. It was hurting. I layed in the grass, he was above me. But I asked him to lay next to me. I just wanted to close my legs. It felt less hurting when I did not spread my legs wide. His arm was under my head and I closed my eyes for several minutes. When I opened my eyes I touched myself and he smiled when he saw my innocent asking eyes while my hand was totally wet.! ‘Baby, that’s me. It’s mine. I love you’. I watched him in his eyes. I never said it before. ‘ ehh u guess I like you too’… We met after it again and again. He was really proud that he was my first. After tons of meetings, I started to stay over. A few years later he proposed.. And finally we are happily married!

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Touching my clit, fingering, licking, doggy style. Kissing.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t come, I was just in pain. But he certainly came.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Next day I went for the Morning After Pil. Later He told me he did have himself checked up at the GGD. I saw the results of it.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? We talked every evening the nights away. It was obvious we wanted to meet so that we could start a real relationship and talk not just on phone but to be able to chit chat also at dining tables etc.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No, I do not drink. He was also totally sober. We don’t do drugs

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After my first time I was confused.’ I thought: nooo! What did I do’. But it happened again and again and after 4 times I started to like making love myself. And the touching of my clit I cld just not resist. So after 5 times meeting I felt good!  If I reflect on myself: it should not have happened in the first meeting. But I do not regret, cause we are married now.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best frnd. She only knew he had touched my clit. Not that he came inside me. Abt the touching she said: ‘no! That’s fast! Too fast! Next date you shld not let him do that!’

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I didn’t want it the first time. He certainly wanted it! And cause I was scared for public attention and cause I was overwhelmed, his intention of having sex with me became truth sooner then he expected!

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No! I do not regret. He is my husband now!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best: the feelings! Everything was new! The worst: it went way too fast for a first meeting! And it was in a park!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? The first time was painful, the second, third and fourth also. But in the 5th I liked it! So just keep going. It will slowly stop hurting! 
Learn from me: if you are not ready, don’t be scared for what public will think. Still, I do not regret cause we became more then just sex mates. We are married and happy.

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