What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Museum worker
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I had a BF at the time but experimented with girls while away in college
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Agreed To One More Time
How long ago did this hookup happen? A week ago
What was your relationship status at the time? I had a boyfriend
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met her during my first year of college. She’s 5 years older & 100% lesbian. Her hair was blue & red and shaved on one side. She had numerous facial piercings and many tattoos. To meet people, I went to a popular club. I was wearing a knee length blue dress with light make-up. She approached me and at first I was timid but she invited me outside to smoke a joint. She was aggressive and kissed me and we ended up at her place having sex. After that, we dated for a few months. I never told her I had a boyfriend because she was very jealous but more importantly, she could pleasure me better than he could. I had to call things off when she wanted to come home with me on break to meet my family. I panicked because I wasn’t ready to break thing off with her yet but I was also cheating on my boyfriend and couldn’t let them meet. I tried to lie and delay breaking up by telling her my family wasn’t ready for such news and pleaded with her to give me a little time. Deep down I was hoping I could juggle a ‘college fling’ with her. The argument got worse and she became very angry. Then we agreed to move on with our lives.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A few weeks ago she found me on on the internet as a member of the staff at a local museum. She sent me an E-mail asking if we could chat. We DMed each other. She lives 30 minutes away now and asked to hook-up sometime. I told her I was married now and couldn’t. She insisted one more time. I kept shooting her down. She asked if I’d ever told my husband about her. I paused too long before I replied. She replied. OK. Maybe I’ll visit you at work and tell a few of your stuck-up museum co-workers so they can tell your husband. I didn’t know what to do so I agreed to meet her.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She gave me directions to her place. I was able to come up with excuses in order to meet her. She hadn’t changed much. A few more tattoos and she now had a pixie hairstyle but jet black. We waisted no time having sex. I forgot how good she was at sending my body into another world with pleasure.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We agreed this was a one-time thing before I left.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Submission / Relinquishing power, Peer pressure
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? Being with her again brought out emotions I had locked up a long time ago. She’s a fun person and I feel the same emotional connection that I feel with my husband. I miss being with her but I’m married and we are planning on having children soon. I wish there was a way to have both.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex. She’s a freak!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I now have feeling for her again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? At one time in my life, I would have never shown public affection with a woman. My ex opened my eyes and took me out of my shell. The few months we dated in college. We held hands, went on the movie and dinner dates just like a regular couple. I used to consider it ‘experimenting’ when I was in college. After being with her again has made me realize that i’m bisexual.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish there was a way I could be in a marriage with children but also have a relationship with with my ex on the side without anyone judging.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I enjoy reading similar stories.
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