Catching Up With An Ex



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? STL
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Office Manager
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Easy?
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15-25?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? One

Catching Up With An Ex

How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 years?

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was an ex, my first real girlfriend in fact. The first person I had sex with. About 5’8, definitely curvy. She was an Amazon when we dated in high school and had become more voluptuous. Tan, smooth skin. Long straight dark hair. Her face was similar to Mira Sorvino, big smile. We had dated for 6 months during junior year. Once we had sex, we went at it like rabbits. At least once a say we found a way. She moved away, I broke up with her after a few months of long distance. Tons of animosity. But years later I college we reconnected via email cordially. She came to town to visit friends and wanted to say hi.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She had been in town a week, we didn’t rush to see each other. But finally had lunch on a Sunday afternoon. Things went great, we were both flirty. I really wanted to see where it could go but she was staying with her friend. That friend hated me. My family was home. I drove her home after and kept hinting, suggesting, probing hamhanded. She wasn’t annoyed, more flattered. But she demurred in the end after teasing her friend may be asleep. When I left I stewed over it. I went out with my girlfriend that night and we had sex and even then I was distracted by the failure. My ex was to leave the next day and I contacted her late and asked if she’d stop by on the way out. There was no rational excuse I could give, but rather than question me she said sure.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was confident. I skipped classes that Monday morning and the house was empty. When she came by around 930 I answered the door in just a robe. She laughed and came inside. I asked what she was laughing about and she told me it was that I was SO direct. So I was honest. I said I was really turned on yesterday, it’s been years since we’ve seen each other and the sex was always amazing. I wanted didn’t want to miss the chance. She grinned and nodded and lead me to my room. I started to undress her when we walked in, as I used to years before. We fell real quick into our ways. Kissing, deep passionate, stripping, stroking. She was on top of me, riding as I ran my hands over her body. We changed positions and I was on top, going full out – pulling myself into her with the iron headboard. Without asking I came inside her, I always had. We sank in next to each other for a half-hour, nearly falling asleep. She had a long drive though, so we made our goodbyes.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I showered and went into work for the afternoon. That evening my girlfriend came over again and she went down on me. I reveled over how bad, how greedy I was for that.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, My partner has a condition that makes her infertile.

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I have a friend I talk to now, but we didn’t discuss this at the time.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Cheating on my girlfriend. The fact that my partner was familiar and it felt somewhat like closure minimizes my feeling of guilt. It’s been well over a decade and my ex is still on good terms.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Reliving great sexual chemistry.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Cheating

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Of all the instances of cheating I’ve had, this affects me the least.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We’ve kept up and on two instances discussed maybe reconnecting for a day. She’s on a third husband.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!