What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New England
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Office assistant
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? This is my first
High School Ex
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My high school girlfriend. She had dumped me after senior year and left me pretty heartbroken for a while. We didn’t speak for most of college, but after college both found ourselves living in the same city, so we started hanging out. She is athletic and fit, with huge eyes and a really amazing smile. She has a huge personality that takes over a room.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She was in an open relationship with her boyfriend who was living in another city two hours away. He had been planning on coming to celebrate her birthday with her and me and a couple other friends. He bailed at the last minute, and she was pretty upset. After the rest of our friends left, she asked me if I wanted to stay the night.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We talked about how chaste we’d been in high school – neither of us had been sexually active at the time. I told her I’d always wanted to see what it would have been like with her. She said the same, but penetrative sex was off the table do to her particular arrangement with her boyfriend- she could fool around with other guys but PIV was just for him. I had never even seen her naked though, so I was glad to have that experience. We ended up taking off our clothes and masterbating each other. She used her mouth a little, but I wouldn’t call it a full blown blow job.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Honestly I felt a little gross. Like she was basically using me to get over her disappointment about her boyfriend not coming for her birthday, and kind of wanting to get back at him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I called my brother afterward and he told me it was a bad idea because he was afraid it would stir up my feelings for her.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I felt used and it damaged our friendship slightly.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I finally got to see my high school ex naked.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Brought romantic feelings back to the surface, which added a layer of awkwardness to our friendship. I wanted to repeat it, she did not.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me think more about what the emotional consequences of a hook-up would be before jumping into it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I may be remembering some details wrong.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think as long as you know what you want and do it for that reason instead of pressure, it’s mostly a good thing. I wish I’d figured that out sooner.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s good that we’re talking about this.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!