Hook Up With My First Love 40 Years Later



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 55
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? usa
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? disabled
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: exploring
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? too many to remember
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Hook Up With My First Love 40 Years Later

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? H has tan skin, dark hair, and is about 5 feet 6 inches tall. We met as teenagers when I was 14. He was 2 1/2 years older than me. We met at a place for troubled teens. Within a week of being there, we became friends. Then one night, my roommate (female) went to his room located on the floor below ours, my roommate and his roommate went into the empty room next to theirs. He motioned me to his bed and we had sex. I really did not think that was why we were meeting the boys. I fell in love with him. My first love. We were all kicked out of the program. We dated, seeing each other when we could. We lived far away from each other. Both our parents tried to keep us apart. About a year later, he came for me and we ran away together. A few weeks later, I was picked up and sent away. When I got out, his parents refused to tell me where he was. I was heartbroken and had no idea how to find him and wondered why he was not trying to find me. Years later I found him on facebook. It took me a month to make contact. We started talking all the time. I found out he also tried to find me. It had been 40 years from the last time we saw each other. We were both confused about our feelings for each other now, we both had been feeling our whole lives that something was missing. Was it each other?

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We both knew we had to see each other in person. We never broke up but we were kept apart and there was never any closure. After 6 months of talking online, we decided we had to meet. He had been married three times with the last ending 3 years ago. I was in a 30 year marriage. I love my husband, but our marriage had not been doing well for the last few years. I took a bus to go see him and stayed at his place. When we saw each other it was like we picked up where we left off. I stayed for a few days. We talked a lot about what happened and how we felt now. We did have sex. W was very emotional. I had never cheated on my husband, it had never crossed my mind to. I went home with us planning to see each other again.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time it was just sex due to our situation, nothing special. A month later, he came to where I lived. We did not hold back. We did it in every position. Dirty talk, dress up, telling and showing each other what and how to do things to each other. We came together. Spanking, clawing, on the floor, in the bed, over chairs, agaist the wall. A lot of forplay, touching rubbing kissing sucking, fast and hard, slow and intense, the passion we had was unreal.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kept in contact with online planning to see each other again. I was not going to leave my husband and I did not want to hurt him. We are connected to each other even if we are not together we feel we belong to each other. I am deeply in love with him and he deeply loves me. There were no regrets nor did I feel guilty. We wonder what would have been if we had not been kept apart.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Prescription pain killers (Vicodin, Percoset, Demerol, Dilaudid), Meth

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Prescription pain killers (Vicodin, Percoset, Demerol, Dilaudid), Meth

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? trusted friend.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I found out he also never forgot about me

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? my husband found out

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? my husband and i live together as friends only and have the best sex almost every night. he now spends more time with me

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’m still with my husband, still talk to my love but we dont see each other

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? if you want to be with someone, who cares, it’s your life do what you want

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? i liked being involed it helped to reensure things i feel

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!