What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 5
How He Got Me Pregnant
How long ago did this hookup happen? Nearly 10 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Ant was my first boyfriend. We got together at 16 and then split up two years later. I went straight from our relationship to another, so I was still seeing the man I left him for.
Ant was greatly artistic and creative and definitely eccentric. He was a bit shorter than me at 5’6” and had smaller feet than me which I always thought was funny. We lost our virginity to each other at 16 and were very explorative in our early sex lives.
Since we split his body type and face changed, he was broad but lean and had grown a beard on his now quite angular face. I had always been attracted to him on many levels but physically never as much as this.
He was also in a serious relationship and unhappy, we had been chatting regularly as friends but both of us started to cross lines. We eventually were regularly sexting and masturbating whilst on the phone to each other.
I considered him a very close friend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He had moved out of the country for university but was visiting. We agreed to meet up for the evening and have drinks, I think we might of joked about meeting for sex but it certainly wasn’t thought through or planned.
I was really excited to see him and him me. We had some dinner and went for drinks. There was an obvious tension between us and the suggestion of a hotel came up. Initially we both dismissed it.
We went and spontaneously saw a film and it started to get quite physical in the cinema. We were feeling each other up in the dark.
After the film we had more drinks and decided that the tension promised something special, he went to the toilet to get a condom, after he couldn’t get one he almost changed his mind – but we were really horny and I was on the pill anyway.
We searched for local hotels and found one close-by. I’ll never forget the awkwardness of turning up with no bags for a night in a hotel. We were both IDed to be over 20 also.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We both had showers first. It felt incredibly comfortable to be naked around him. Whilst he was showering, I watched and encouraged him to stick his erect dick through the hole in the shower door (it was essentially a handle). He refused initially then did it, I got a bit of a kick.
He knew what I liked and teased me and spoke to me degradingly. He slapped me across the buttocks and face hard.
I went down on him and he congratulated me for learning ‘a new trick’ as I never managed to give him a good BJ when we were together.
He wound me up to the point I was begging for his dick (it was 6 inches long and 6” in circumference so very enjoyable) and he fucked me hard and unapologetically in missionary. I got myself off with my fingers whilst he fucked me and we both came around the same time.
I remember feeling so content and happy afterward. We watched some stand up comedy on the tv in the room and chatted and laughed.
We woke up horny and banged again before going out for breakfast.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I hadn’t felt such a happy romantic connection in a long time and did wonder if we could get back together. He made it clear he wanted to study with his girlfriend and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me again.
I found out I was pregnant about a month later but couldn’t be sure it was from our encounter. I split up with my boyfriend who had been awful to me anyway and became a single parent to my ex’s baby, he returned to uni and stayed with his girlfriend (he had to tell her) for nearly another two years. We had a DNA test to confirm.
As it stands we are now both in happy relationships and old friends. Our sexual relationship is in the past and we always enjoy chatting and spending time together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only discussed the details with close friends, but because of my pregnancy all my family/friends knew it had happened. No one really gave a strong reaction either way, and I think they were happy that the pregnancy gave me a way out of an abusive relationship.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sexual connection, we knew what each other liked and hadn’t had that experience since we were together. The spontaneity of it was excellent and getting to have a one night stand in a hotel was fun.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Emotional pain. We both had to tell our partners and later our parents. Hurting other people felt horrible for us both.
I hoped we’d get back together and have the baby and was devastated that his girlfriend forgave him and he stayed with her. I absolutely hated her and longed to be a family with him.
I know it was a hard time then but ultimately things have turned out for the best.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I felt guilty for years about it as I hadn’t meant to get pregnant but felt like I did it deliberately. Nowadays I’m over it though.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Nothing but good things to say. I’m sure this is such a valuable resource for so many people.
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