What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 53
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? PA
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Housewife
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Igniting an old Flame
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 Years
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was an High School classmate that I used to flirt with and then had sex before I married my husband. I was young, inexperienced and very confused about getting married. I like the attention that he gave me and besides he was extremely good looking and popular. It was a brief fling and then we went on different directions. I did get married and moved away, he went on to college and moved to another state. While I treasured the memories of our interludes, We enjoyed raw passionate some what animalistic sex, the excitement of it being a bit wrong, and that neither one of us ever held back. It is hard to explain, but I think that since we didn’t think that our relationship was going to go anywhere, it made us more open to fulfill each others desires. We found each other so sexually compatible, that in the end we seriously discussed breaking up with our partners and going with each other but it was complicated by my becoming pregnant and he wouldn’t give up his plans for college.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We reconnected at a High School reunion after no contact for 30 years. If anything he was more adorable, and appealing than ever. He became a lawyer and was a prosecutor. I an addicted to true crime stories and books so we immediately had a common interest. We were married and both going through domestic problems. I guess that favorable circumstances provided us with time for privacy and we updated each other our lives, shared our current issues and the we reminisced. We shared an innocent kiss that grew into a deep passionate one, he said that he could still feel the chemistry after all these years and I did too. We went back to the party and our lives
About 2 years later we reconnected on the internet, he had gotten divorced and said that he was finally in a good place. I told him that my marriage was sexless, frustrating and I felt trapped. He replied how he felt sorry for me and that a gorgeous sexy woman as myself shouldn’t have to live like that.
It started an emotion affair we pursued on the internet for 2 and a half years, graduating from sharing our feeling to sexting, skype sex and then seriously discussing about getting back together.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was easy for me to get time as my husband’s work had him away from home all week and we didn’t talk much, the hard part was getting him to commit to a plan. We had back to our home town to care for our parents, then he had to come home to settle some affairs for his. We met for coffee, talked and then went back to his hotel and made love for 2 days. I accommodated his every want, and willing submitted to him, it wasn’t a one way street as I hadn’t had sex in years and it was like being in a desert and coming to an oasis. I also had an alternative motive as I wanted him to want me so bad that he take me away from all of my problems.
We used to meet at least once a month, sometimes mote for over a year.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great, to be found wanted and desired it made me feel so attractive, what was a bit funny is that my 80 year old mother noticed the change in my behavior and appearance before my husband. She stunned me one day by asking who I was seeing, as I dressed and made myself up like a tramp.
I shrugged that off, of course I took a new interest I looked and dressed, I wanted him and a new life that being with him could give me
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Revenge / Getting even
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? no one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? there was an order of best things, first the sex was better than great and made me feel alive again. Second it gave me a new out look on life, and showed me that my happiness was not dependent on someone else.
Also that my husband found out and confronted me.
That he was a hell of a lot more understanding than I had been.
In fact he summed it all up, he wanted me to be happy, he’d overlooked a lot of things that I had done but if the past 35 years didn’t mean anything to me then there was the door but if I decide to stay the I had to tell him the whole truth
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That my husband found out, and that contrary to my previous thoughts, he had his suspicions right from the start. Basically he asked me how it felt to be a liar, cheater and hypocrite all of the things that iI had accused him of being. Wouldn’t it have been so much easier to just have asked for a divorce.
I had to look at myself in a very different light.
How my lover ended the affair, in typical lawyer fashion all he wanted to know is how my husband found out and what evidence if any did he have. Then he completely stopped any communications with me.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I am still married. In fact after having attended marriage counseling I discovered that I had much more active role in having an unhappy marriage than i was always willing to admit.
We are enjoying a renewed level of sexual satisfaction, which at the beginning I found very strange, but now am very happy with him
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