More For Me Than For Her



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Genetic Lab Technician
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

More For Me Than For Her

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was petit, and cute with short hair. Nice round breasts that weren’t too big but just enough. I knew her for years as she was the younger sister of one of my friends. We dated briefly years before the hookup but she was broke it off before we ever had sex. I always wanted to be with her and thought she was the one.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was at a family party that her sister, my friend, was hosting. We were exchanging glances thoughout the night and brief conversation. She messaged me the next day and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out with her that night.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was still a virgin at the time and she was not. We started making out and she would help me and make sure that I was comfortable and ok to proceed at each step. I gently started fondling her boobs and grabbing her ass. We moved to the bedroom and got undressed. I started to kiss her body and licked her nipples. I came down to her vagina and tried to lick her clit. She had to help me out a little but I eventually found it. She, in return, sucked my dick. I penetrated her vagina and we fucked in a few positions until I was about to come and she told me to pull out and I came on the sheets. It felt so good when I was inside her but not as good as I expected. She talked me through the whole experience and was really sweet.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I kind of felt disappointed after. It was as magical as my imagination thought it should have been. I felt bad that I couldn’t get her to come. But I felt like we could move forward with this. After a few more hookups she told me she just started dating another guy and they were serious. I felt hurt and betrayed.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My roommate who was also friends with my Ex’s sister. He was surprised but wasn’t judging.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It taught me a lot for my first time. It taught me how to have communication during sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it was apparently just a fling for her but so much more for me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I need more stability in my relationships and I’m not big into hookups or causal sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Everybody is different and they need to decided for themselves what they like. Sex and causal sex isn’t a bad thing.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a great resource.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!