Teenage Fumble

by Meg

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Race/ethnicity: white
Location: Edinburgh
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Hospitality
Relationship status: in relationship
Religious affiliation: unknown
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Teenage Fumble

How long ago did this hookup happen? 8 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? sex with ex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a boy I dated when I was 14-15 for 6 months. Whilst we were going out I was in owe of him and also did not think I was good enough for him, he was dreadfully good looking and also in a band which made him super cool. When we were in a ‘relationship’ (it was barely such) we really only saw each other once a week, sometimes twice if I happened to walk past the bus stop he waited at, and during the 6 months we went out we only ever held hands and kissed. I was too scared to do anything else in case I did it wrong. He then dumped me over text the day after valentines day, and it took me a long time to get over him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This part is a bit foggy, but I remember when I was just about to turn 17 we were out drinking and I bumped into him with some friends. I’m not sure who instigated it, I do remember he apologised a lot about the way he broke up with me (and so he bloody should be!) but there was certainly no planning of the hook up on my part and then somehow the night ended up back at his.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I think it was pretty regular, teenage sex. A bit bumpy and awkward although made easier by the booze. I certainly didn’t have an orgasm, but he did. I think it didn’t last very long either, but I didn’t care. I remember being pretty chuffed with myself that after a couple of years I managed to sleep with him. Afterwards I don’t think it was that awkward, we laughed at it happening and spoke about how  it was a bit odd that it had. 
With only 1 sexual experience before this I had nothing really to compare him to so I thought it was good but in hindsight it certainly wasn’t although I have no regrets.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I think the first time we used a condom and the 2nd we didn’t… 

I have just remembered that one of the times we did it I had this contagious bacterial infection (can’t remember the name) on my chin which I managed to spread to his chin and also his elbow (?!)

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Looking back, it was closure but at the time I just really wanted to do it. I found it quite funny that we had gone out for 6 months and just kissed then 2 years later ended up having sex a few times with no chat of a relationship forming.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? booze, probably a silly mix as we were 17.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It fizzled out, we were a bit awkward when we did bump into each other and that was that really. I actually bumped into him at a festival recently and it was somewhat awkward but nice to see him. He looks the exact same though, and it’s safe to say I am definitely over him.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I think my close girlfriends, and I think they were probably quite happy for me since at 17 these kind of things are very new and exciting, even when they are awkward and terrible.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? consensual on both parts

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? no regrets, no point really. I do find it funny now and I certainly wouldn’t go there again.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think the best thing was the fact that we had done it. My 14 year old self certainly didn’t see it (him) coming and I’m glad I did it for her but it really was nothing special. 
This experience for me was just another that helped build my understanding of sex and boys, although I feel I am still on that journey!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? They say sex with an ex is never a good idea, but this for me was definitely the exception to the rule!

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