The Tinder Ex

by JX

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

The Tinder Ex

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Carol is slightly taller than me with long brown curly hair. She has a cute face and is thin and fit with large breasts. We met on Tinder a little less than 2 years ago and dated for a few months, but I broke it off because our personalities don’t mesh in the way that I’d like. However, the sex was always great. We stopped being exclusive and had sex for a few months after breaking up until I began seeing someone else exclusively. That relationship ended a few months ago and I was feeling lonely so I texted her to see how she had been as we hadn’t talked since our sexual relationship ended. My last relationship ended because of intimacy problems, and I was hoping to have better sex than I had for months. Carol almost immediately caught on that I wanted sex and enthusiastically did too. She came over within an hour of us talking.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup happened at my house. Not much planning was involved. I asked her how she had been over text and we soon got to talking about our past sexual history positively. She said she’d like to do it again sometime, I told her I was free now and she came over shortly after. We had a drink and talked and then hooked up.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Carol was a great lover. She was very flirty and sexy. I felt great during it because in my most recent relationship the sex was not very good and it was nice in the moment to be with someone different and more sexually adept. We started making out on the couch with heavy petting. We kissed, bit, and sucked each others necks and ears. I took off her top and mine and fondled and kissed her breasts, then performed fellatio on her and analingus for about 20 minutes until she came. She then took off my pants and performed fellatio on me for about 20 minutes. She was rougher and better at it than she used to be; gagging herself on me, licking on my perineum and balls, and she spit on her breasts and I thrusted my penis between them for awhile. After I came, we relaxed and talked about how great it was for about 30 minutes before performing fellatio on one another again and then having penetrative sex. We started in missionary, then she moved her legs to the side, then cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and finished with doggystyle. We again talked about how great the sex was, talked about how continuing to be single was what we both wanted and established that neither of us wanted more than a friends with benefits relationship going forward. She left shortly after.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We have hooked up about twice a week since. We talk dirty through text and are each exploring our kinks further than we did in the past. Although we do hang out a bit beyond the sex, I think we are both agreed that is the relationship’s primary function. I felt pretty good about it afterwards, but I am still adjusting to not being in a serious relationship and sex without love is less appealing to me than sex within a committed relationship.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few close friends.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I wouldn’t say I regret it, but I’m not sure how much it has contributed positively or negatively to my emotional and mental health while processing a break up from a serious relationship.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The hookup was higher quality sex than I had experienced in months.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The impact on my emotional and mental health while processing a break up since this was the first sexual experience with a different person in over one year.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t have problems with casual sex in society. I prefer sex within committed relationships to casual sex, but am not against pursuing casual sex with someone I know and find attractive.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!