What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 16
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is 22, so at the time she was four years older than me. I knew her ironically through my church youth group, and I’ve always been attracted to her. She is sporty and super confident. She has really nice long legs and a pretty face. All the guys at church were into her and it was known she hooked up with a few of them. One of the big stories was that she blew one of the guys in the church basement. As a younger person, I was always amazed by her confidence and sexuality. This was when she was 17 and I was 13. She graduated and I didn’t hear or see much of her for years.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? So I was 17 in grade 12 and pretty mature for my age. I had sex at 16, and I had been with a couple of guys and had started hooking up with girls. In my last semester of grade 12, I had already had sex a couple of times with other girls so nothing was new or scary to me by this time. Anyway, she (let’s call her Leigh) started working as a TA (teacher’s assistant) during my second semester to my Drama and English teachers, and obviously, we knew each other so we were really friendly right away. One day, I was making out with a girlfriend in the storage room of our school theatre when Leigh walked in. My friend was really nervous at being caught, so Leigh calmed her down and said nothing was wrong with it and not to be ashamed, etc. She said once you get to college it’s seen as perfectly normal and everybody’s cool with it, etc. I kind of got the vibe she was talking about herself. I had always crushed on her but now hooking up with her seemed possible, and I wasn’t going to let that chance slip away.
I started talking to her on FB asking for “advice” about my “sexuality” (lol), and after some talking, she told me she considered herself bisexual and had dated girls before. I eventually asked her if she would consider dating me, and she said she was flattered but she wanted to be responsible because I was under 18, etc. I was disappointed at the time, but in hindsight, I’m glad she was encouraging responsible behavior. Anyway, I asked her if it would make a difference if I was 18, and she said she didn’t know but we probably shouldn’t talk about it until then. She kept a polite distance for the rest of the school year, and so did I.
Well, in August on the day before my birthday, I sent her a photo of my driver’s license with my date of birth on it. She lol’d and said happy birthday. I asked her what she was doing the next day and she said she had no plans, so I invited her to come swimming at my house. I told her my parents would be away at work all day and my little sister was at camp. About 20 minutes after she said “let me think about that,” she said sure. I was so excited because this crush was like 8 years in the making.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She came wearing shorts and a t-shirt over her bikini. I met her wearing my bikini, and she blushed. We spent the first couple of hours talking and swimming. When we were lying on our towels drying after swimming again, the energy was really powerful. When she made jokes, I would laugh and touch her arm as I would with a boy to let him know I was into him. Once I did that and I didn’t move my hand away, and she lightly laid her hand on my thigh. I nudged a bit closer and kissed her. After that, we didn’t talk much. I rolled on top of her, and we made out as she gently stroked my back. She asked if we should go inside, but my backyard is pretty private so I told her not to worry. She took off my top, and I crawled up so she could suck on my tits. Her fingers found me, and she was gently stroking me. It was really hot. She took off my bottoms, and I sat up and straddled her face as she licked me. She was really gentle, but I was so into it because of who she was. I almost came, and when I looked down, her face was soaking wet, but she had a huge smile. I laughed and said maybe now we should go in.
I walked her up to my room, holding her hand the whole time. When we got in, we made out standing up for a while. I could taste myself on her lips and tongue, and it was hot. I took off her bikini and got on my knees and started eating her. I was a lot more aggressive, haha. She was moaning pretty loud. I’d already been fucking girls for a while at this point, and I don’t think she knew that. I finger fucked her while I licked her clit, and now she was dripping wet. We lied down and after making out while we fingered each other we started 69ing. She came first, which I pride myself on, haha. I asked if I could straddle her again since I really liked that, and she agreed with a huge smile on her face. I told her not to be gentle with me, and she licked me hard while I grinded on her face. She squeezed my ass and tits until I came, and I was slowly grinding on her while I was coming. We cuddled in bed and made out for a while longer, but it was getting to the time when she should probably leave. So, we took a quick shower together, and she left, promising to see me again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? My sister was away at camp for another two weeks, so she came over and we swam and had sex a lot during that time. When my sister came back it was a little harder because Leigh lived with her parents, but we saw each other when we could. By the end of summer, we were sort of unofficially dating, but the age difference was a thing, and when I went off to university we agreed it was a good idea to cool it down. Still, in my first year of university, she spent a couple of weekends with me, and we even had a threesome with one of my uni FWBs, which might be worth telling here. We still talk and hook up sometimes.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? The right friends who wouldn’t think it was weird. I’m pretty much “out,” but it still weirds some friends out.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was amazing. Also, feeling like I was on her level was incredible.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it ended? I don’t know.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Nothing wrong with it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I like it.
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