A Year of Buildup



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A Year of Buildup

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him in college. He was gorgeous. Perfectly tousled hair, rustic beard, gorgeous eyes. A smile that could melt steel. He was drawn to me the first day we met in class. He flirted with me originally for a long time and I kept rejecting him, but over time (and after many years of celibacy) he slowly won me over. We started seeing each other casually, making out, and things started to heat up. We were like magnets, we couldn’t stop seeing each other–totally nuts about each other. The tension between us was so great that two of our friends started dating after hanging out with us together.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was a long day. He had work, I had work. A few days before I had given him a blowjob that he really enjoyed, and we had been sending texts talking about what we liked in bed all day long. We decided to meet up for some “snuggling” at my place, and I knew that tonight was the night that we were going to give it a real go.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? What followed was absolutely, without a doubt, the worst sex of my life. Hands down. He went down on me for a few minutes and it wasn’t really working for me, but I was still pretty turned on (“this super hot guy that I’ve wanted for months is touching me!”) so I suggested he put on a condom and get going. It lasted two minutes. There was almost no kissing, he just jackhammered as hard as he could. I said “Easy!” and “slow down!” a couple of times and he responded, but quickly moved back to his old hammering pace. I started to say I wanted to get on top, but he said,”wait, hang on” and came. After, he made a weak effort to touch me since I definitely didn’t come, but I was so disappointed that I just suggested we snuggle instead (but secretly, was filled with regret and wanted him to leave).

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It became incredibly awkward. It was late, I was disappointed, he kept kissing me and I honestly was so turned off that I didn’t even want to touch him. I was filled with regret. I think he knew, because he asked me if I regretted it. I was actually even angry, because I spent all this time talking to this person about what we liked and didn’t like in bed and he blatantly ignored it to get off. I felt used, sad, and lonely. It was absolutely not worth it, at all. The best part was after he left, he texted me about how much of a great time he had. I’m sure you did, buddy!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I should have just masturbated instead. At least then I would have had an orgasm.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Learning that I really do not enjoy sleeping with someone I am not actively dating.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The enormous amount of disappointment.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!