What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Bicurious
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met through Tinder. We had been on a few dates previously, we had spoken about sex a lot. He claimed that he was great at giving head and great at fingering so I was excited to see if this was true!
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He invited me to his. I had been to his previously and had made out with him before but had never stayed over. We were watching TV in bed. I wasn’t planning to have sex with him that night but I did want to reach first base (I am very sexually conservative as I find it difficult to trust people). He was understanding of that at first.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started making out and rubbing each other on top of our clothes. I undid his belt and started stroking his cock. He was not as firm or wide as I would have liked.
He took off my bra and started playing with my breasts. He fingered me for a short while. I got on top of him and grinded on him. He squeezed my butt cheeks so hard, it made me feel very shocked and I had to get off him as I found it unsettling.
I jerked him off to finish the experience. I felt like I was laying there just jerking him off, not really part of the pleasure. He asked me if I wanted him to come and I did not reply as I just wanted this experience to be over.
I washed my hands after he came and then we got into bed and awkwardly cuddled. This was highly anti-climatic as I was nowhere near an orgasm, he was very much focused on his own pleasure and so I did not feel very comfortable around him.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We went to sleep. We played with each other again in the morning but he did not finger me. Again, he was very much focused on his own pleasure. I jerked him off.
When I left that day, we kissed before I said bye. At the time, I did not realise that the sexual experience had been so bad. I thought we would continue dating as he had sweet-talked me a lot on our previous dates. I did not hear from him again after that day and he did not reply to my text (I texted him once and did not follow up).
I regret the hook-up. I did not feel comfortable in this guys bed and I think that I let my guard down too easily. I was seeking emotional intimacy and felt very insecure in bed and he did not do much to make me feel relaxed. He was also not very clear about how he wanted the relationship to develop.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? I did not receive any pleasure from it and it has made me feel more insecure that I felt previous to the hook-up.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learnt that the guy I was dating briefly is a complete d*ck.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I felt insecure and unwanted and undesirable as a result of it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it has made my feelings worse.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
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