Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? This is my first.
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago
How would you best classify this hookup? Lust hook up with a ex-coworker
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew him when we worked together, about six years before the hook up happened. We always flirted when we worked together. Had some sexual tension and teased each other. The term “work husband” would have fit. We had lunch frequently. Both of us were married and never discussed anything other than platonic things. He is older than me, by twelve years. But very sure of himself and very confident, which I found very sexy. His compliments came easy and made me feel good.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Fast forward several years from us working together. I’ve had a few children and now a SAHM [Stay At Home Mom]. I recently found my husband chatting with other men online and sending them naked pictures of himself to other men as well as possibly meeting up with them. And I was mad. But realized that our marriage was full of shit and I couldn’t stand him anyway. Another coworker (female) friend of ours decided the three of us should meet to catch up. Lunch was great. After lunch he called me. Said I looked great and that maybe we should get a drink together some time. I was completely taken aback and caught off guard. But after some thought I emailed him and said ok. Before we could get to that drink though, we had some emails and phone calls where we admitted to prior work crushes. So going into our first meet, there were expectations that we would be meeting for a romantic reason.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We met at Walmart for the first time. Yes, Walmart, how freaking embarrassing! But we really didn’t know what we were doing, it was uncharted territory for both of us. We kissed and it was amazing. Things escalated from there. We would meet anytime, anywhere we could. Just to kiss or get around as many bases as we could. He came to my house during his lunch hour so we could have oral sex. While my kids were napping. I’m not proud of that but they were very young. We met at a bar to have drinks a few times. My husband found out I was fooling around during this time but I promised to stop. I didn’t. I hated him.
We finally decided to “seal the deal” so to speak. He started telling me things like he could see himself with me etc etc but I would tell him that I really only wanted something casual. He also said that he was hesitant about going “all the way” but we were both getting frustrated with just foreplay.
We found a hotel during his work hours. We fooled around, we hard oral. He was AMAZING at oral. So so so so good. I wouldn’t let my husband do that to me b/c we had sexual issues. And damn it felt good after so many years without it. He was an amazing kisser too. I had a few orgasms. We had sex but not for long, he orgasmed too quickly. I take it b/c he was older and he blamed it on the condoms. I insisted we wear condoms b/c I was NOT going to get pregnant. We had sex again and the same thing happened, he came really quick. He blamed the condom again. We went out to eat at this point. When we came back I wanted to have sex again but he said no. I tried to be coy and use my sexual prowess to get him to have sex again but he just flat out didn’t want to. I was very hurt. He said he felt guilty and couldn’t do it again. It doesn’t feel good to be denied sex like that.
The next day he was nonexistent. We went from chatting every second we could find to him not saying a word. I finally contacted him and he said well I told you I felt guilty and I told you that I didn’t really want to do this. Really? You basically told me you were in love with me. And so it ended just like that. We met so I could yell at him some but it didn’t matter. It was over. It sucked to go from some much contact to just nothing.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms. We never discussed STD history but I knew he had over 50 partners. He was the 2nd person I’d ever have sex with.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was lonely I guess. Looking for some excitement in my life. I wanted to feel wanted again. He definitely made me feel that way.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I don’t regret it. He was a nice guy when we were together and it made me realize I needed a big fat divorce. I was pretty pissed at the time though. I went on to have a few more hook ups and one stuck. He contacted me recently to “feel me out” so to speak and I guess try to hook up. I told him I would meet to catch up with him but I wasn’t interested in sex. He declined.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my best friend. When I admitted to what I was doing, she admitted to going through something very similar. She cheated on her husband two days after I did. It was strange to find out she was going through the same thing but it made it a little more exciting too.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was definitely consensual and wanted.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No I don’t regret it. He was my gateway partner lol.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? He made me feel very very good. He ooo’d and ahhh’d over me very much. He told me he wanted me and needed me. I felt very sexual with him and it felt good. I felt like a wanted woman!
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? After this hook up I went on to have two more. I will write about them as well.
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