Earth, Wind, and Fire



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? Durban
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Strategist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Astrology
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I don’t know
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Earth, Wind, and Fire

How long ago did this hookup happen? About two weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was very tall and we had not hooked up before. I met him while he was visiting a friend in my apartment building. I thought he could be someone I may get into a relationship with.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He came over to my house with the sole purpose to have sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We just kissed and had penetrative sex. I felt good about it and he left right after. He was well endowed and that added further appeal to the experience and generally, I felt like I wanted to keep having sex with him because I enjoyed not just his sex, but our conversation.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I knew that I did not want to get into a relationship with him and he later confessed that he was in a relationship. I had no regrets and we had sex again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My immediate friends and they were excited for me.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got the chance to have sex with someone I genuinely liked.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He turned out to be homophobic.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Not everything is for everybody. One should be very clear about their limits and respect them to avoid disappointments. I personally enjoy casual sex because I am able to enjoy physical contact without any expectations of feelings and attachment and there are many people like me who want sex even though they do not want relationships.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This is a good way to see how people act in the realms of casual sex and de-stigmatizing how women feel about casual sex.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!