What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Colorado
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Waitress
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup?
We met when we were both traveling in Nicaragua. He was from Argentina. He had been traveling for the last year and a half and had a rugged beard and unkempt curly hair, and a cute face. We met when I was waiting for a shuttle from a beach back to town. I sat down next to him, and in silence, I studied my Spanish flash cards from my classes. He looked over and asked if I was studying Spanish, and he helped me to practice in conversation. He had such a heavy accent that was hard for me to understand at first, but I appreciated his help. I was lonely in my travels, and happy to be talking to a laid back guy who showed no indication of hitting on me. I had a boyfriend at the time, and I just wanted people to talk to.
We hung out in a group later on and walked along the beach drinking and smoking a joint, amazed by the wildness of the Semana Santa crowd falling over wasted in the sand. I made sure to keep distance between us because I had a boyfriend, but something about his laid back personality and free spirit drew me in, and I couldn’t help but see stars with the standard kiss on the cheek to say goodbye.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I invited him to meet up with a friend of mine at the beach a few days later, and only actually saw him for about 5 minutes to try and catch a wave on his surfboard. In a long chain of events, this came up in conversation with my boyfriend of 2 years, and it resulted in him breaking up with me.
I mourned for a few days and then moved on to another town, discovered that the Argentinian was in Granada nearby, so we met in Nicaragua’s most beautiful city and hung out. We sat in a restaurant out on the street on some soft cushions and chit-chatted while we drank and smoked, and I told him how he was partially to blame for my relationship ending. I started out keeping my distance from him but eventually leaning into him. Before I had to go, I asked if he would come and see me in the town where I was taking ceramics lessons. He said maybe, but he said in his heavy accent “but I want to try something. A little kiss.” We made out and began to get hot and heavy, but I had to go. He said that he would come and see me, but only if I stayed with him. In a private room, I told him that I wasn’t sure because I had just gotten out of a relationship a few days ago. So he told me to think about it, and he helped me to find a taxi and I went “home”.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?
I decided to do it. We got a room on a volcanic crater filled in with water, a beautiful Laguna. I told him I was feeling unsure because I hadn’t been with anyone new in so long, and he told me to absolutely feel no pressure. Just come to hang out at the Laguna and I could stay the night only if I wanted to.
We swam in the water and laid out on a wooden float, talking and kissing and enjoying the sun. We just hung out all evening, and after a couple of beers got to kissing in the room.
He was a very good lover. He began by laying on top of me and kissing me, rubbing his body against me. He touched me and we slowly took our clothes off, and he put on a condom and entered me. It was very passionate, with lots of kissing. The hottest part was that he spoke Spanish. Anything that would have just been “eh” in English was so damn sexy in Spanish. He fucked me in missionary, on my side from behind, while rubbing my clit, and then in doggy style, slapping my ass and digging into me until he came, making funny, Hispanic-sounding moaning sounds. I didn’t come, so he got me off with his mouth afterward.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We did it twice the first night, and afterward laid in that hot, humid room, trying to cool our sweaty bodies in the fan, and talked like friends and cuddled. I left in the morning to go to my classes, and then came back the next day to do it all over again. Then he went and carried on with his travels and we said goodbye.
I felt on top of the world. These were some of the best days of my life, and I felt so free after that controlling relationship. I have never enjoyed a causal hookup before, but this guy still gives me chills to think about.
I had no expectations for the future. We still talk here and there and I check in on his travels, but we’ll likely never see each other again. Although I will most likely be in Argentina next year, and who knows, if he’s back from his own travels by then maybe we’ll meet up.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends. With excitement
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The excitement of being with someone exotic, whom I got along so well with, in a beautiful place, with the fresh freedom of no longer being in a somewhat abusive relationship
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I miss him. I don’t think it would have turned into anything even if we lived in the same place, but it’s easy to romanticize the whole thing and wish I could go back to those feelings.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Somewhat. I think casual sex typically isn’t good for me unless it’s someone that I truly feel comfortable with. It does have me excited for my next trip, where maybe I’ll do something similar when I’m feeling free and not completely like myself when I’m home.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I think it only felt so special and exhilarating because he was exotic to me, and I knew we would be going our separate ways soon. There was no pressure and no thoughts of the future to ruin it for me, and how he spoke was just so new and sexy to me.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Overall, I’m not proud of any of my casual hookups. They have left me feeling bad about myself and used. But in this case, I felt like I made the decision because I was excited about it, not just trying to feel better about myself.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting!!
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