Feelings After Hooking Up

by Fafar

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Middle Eastern
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Feelings After Hooking Up

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is not exactly my type, but he’s very handsome and tall. I met him on tinder and the first time I met him was in a bar. He paid for the drinks and then he drove me back home. We had an awesome conversation and I felt a connection as well. At the end of the “date”, I started liking him as a friend and I wanted to hang out with him more, but I didn’t get any signals that he was actually into me sexually, so I had no expectations of sex in the future.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A week later, he asked me if I wanted to hang out again and I suggested that we could go to a club famous for its electronic music, which he’s into. We went to that club, and at the end of the night, he sat next to me and leaned towards me, and then we kissed. That’s when I knew that he was actually attracted to me since the whole night he didn’t even try to hold my hands when walking in that super crowded club considering that I was kinda high and felt disoriented. There was no planning involved, I asked him if he wanted to come back to my place, which he said yes to.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He started going down on me, fingering me and kissing me from neck to bottom. I gave him a blowjob and then we had sex in a few positions. It felt amazing for me and I think he liked it a lot too. He made me feel so special and he was so considerate of me. He was also so sexy and gentle, but dominant at the same time which turned me on so badly. It ended with him hugging me tightly after he came and I was kissing his neck and face the whole time. We had sex 3 times before morning.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt amazing, which I had never felt in my life before. I’ve had casual sex before, but I’ve never felt about the person the way I felt about him. Maybe it was because he was kissing me the whole time and made me feel wanted. The next day, we grabbed a coffee and took a walk in the park and talked more about life. I like this person a lot and I’m very scared of these feelings because I think he’s used to having intimate sex and not getting attached after. He’s also latino, and they’re typically used to this level of intimacy while being casual.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend and she’s wondering if we’re more than friends with benefits.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Because I caught feelings and I didn’t plan on that.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The level of intimacy and how good it made me feel about myself.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The feelings I caught and the fact that I didn’t orgasm.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try to not get your feelings involved you have no control over them. I also learned I get much more pleasure if I’m slightly high on weed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish people would communicate if something is casual sex or not. I think girls usually don’t ask because they’re scared of the guy getting scared off and running away.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very informative and interesting.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!