What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 39
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Switzerland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Marketing executive
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 45 or so
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Fling during a conference
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was handsome, professional looking. We were in the same conference but we hadn’t met before; we talked briefly in a coffee break and we exchanged names and contact details, then we had lunch. I felt attracted to him: he was not just handsome but intelligent, a good conversationalist.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We flirted a bit over lunch; nothing very strong, but there was definitely some chemistry. I think we were both feeling our ground, trying to see how far the other was prepared to go. He was married, as I was, therefore we were both cautious. I can’t say that one of us instigated it, it was a slow dance, with a bit more flirting as time progressed. I have to say that I had already had flings while married, therefore I felt confident enough about the possibility of sex with him.
After the conference, we had a walk in the grounds of the hotel, with a bit more flirting; by then it was clear to me that we would have sex. We went to get ready for dinner, and I dressed elegant but sexy: a very small thong with no bra (I have small breasts), a short black skirt, high heel sandals, a tight, sleeveless top, a black jacket. I kept my wedding ring on.
We had dinner in a restaurant outside the hotel and we flirted more; when walking back to the hotel he kissed me and I responded to his kiss, we made out a bit and we walked back holding hands. When we got to the hotel we didn’t say much, we just went to his room….. we knew we both wanted it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We slowly took each other’s clothes off, while kissing and caressing. Very slow, very sensual. When we were both naked we touched and kissed more intimately, then we lay on the bed and we made love. Nothing kinky, just plain sex, no condoms…. it would have spoiled the atmosphere. When he was close to his orgasm he asked me if he should pull out: I said no because I was on the pill. I came shortly after him and it felt great. He was a good lover, sexy and attentive. At no time did I pressured or awkward.
We took a break and we talked for a while, still in his bed, naked, kissing and caressing lazily. We did small talk, about our lives and also our families, and we didn’t make a fuss about our infidelity; he told me that this wasn’t his first extra-marital fling.
We then had sex again and we slept together, that night and the following nights; we called our spouses regularly from our mobiles to avoid unanswered calls and such like.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt fine, the next day and the following days; I had no expectations of any link in the future, and neither did he. I feel very good about it even now.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? With a girlfriend back in Switzerland. She is aware of my extra-marital dalliances; she is also married and has occasional flings. She was very positive about it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex, the thrill of a clandestine dalliance, being intimate with a sexy, interesting man
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? None
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. As I said, it was not my first experience in casual sex; I was already aware of my sexual desires and inclinations, and this didn’t change anything.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has always been part of my life. I have played it safe – always sex with professional men, normally married, people who have much to lose in life and are unlikely to run unnecessary risk, to stalk me, or to catch STIs. I think society should be more accepting of casual sex: in my country it is pretty widespread, also among married people, and that’s fine, but is still frowned about in theory.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!