Fuck Buddies Until We Weren’t

by Jester

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? Middle Eastern
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Michigan, United States
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Public Relations
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 16
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Fuck Buddies Until We Weren’t

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She looked different from her Tinder photos, but that was expected. She was thin with long dirty blonde hair and green eyes. We met at a restaurant near my house, and parted ways afterwards since we were both in transition of moving out of our parents’ house. Before the hookup I thought she was cool, but I could tell (and so could she) after the first date that it would just be a physical attraction.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The second date, about a week later, she met me at my new condo. We started making out right away, and without planning, moved to the bedroom. Before that, she instigated sex by pulling down my pants and blowing me in my empty living room.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? In the bedroom, she blew me some more and I went down on her briefly, since she was already really wet. We then started in missionary, then moved to cowgirl, then missionary again and finished off with doggie. She insisted no condom, so I obliged. The sex felt physically good, but that was the base of my attraction. She liked it, and I did my best to adapt my style into whatever kinks she said she was into. She was a pretty mediocre lover, but I never mentioned it to her. Afterwards, we talked about marijuana, since we both smoked, and then we smoked and went back at it.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? This routine – come over, talk a little, smoke weed, fuck, talk a bit more, maybe fuck again, leave – went on for a bit over a month before we both kind of got bored of it – sometimes I wasn’t in the mood or she didn’t get wet – so we mutually ended things. I don’t think we’ll talk again, since she didn’t really stimulate me personality-wise, but it ended amicably.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Boredom, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I mentioned that I was in a fling to my best friends – who live in another state – and they took it apathetically, so it wasn’t really public.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sometimes the sex was OK.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Sometimes I didn’t like all the kinky stuff she was into – and she insisted we get high every time, and I tend to underperform when high.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was fun until it wasn’t anymore.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex/dating is a fun activity until it isn’t anymore – and from there you have to make a choice to end it or pursue an emotional attraction. This has played a big role in this stage of my life – not necessarily good or bad, but it makes me acknowledge the things I need to work on myself in order to better find the type of women (and eventually, woman) I’m attracted to.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a cool outlet for people to reflect on semi-taboo life choices.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!