What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 71
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Honolulu
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Retired
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Too many to count plus don’t remember the one nighters
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Partner was handyman, night desk clerk at small Latin American hostel. He was about my age, and we enjoyed flirting with each other. He was tall, black, bearded. Not good looking but sexy. Felt same about him, maybe a little disappointed but I understand why he felt the way he did
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This hostel was home base while I traveled the county in 2-3 day trips over a month. There was no planning. He instigated it but I was flirty.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He went down on me under my dress in the living room of thee hostel after hours during which someone wandered out to the kitchen. My guy fell flat on the floor to hide behind the couch and I pretended I was reading a book.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I went out to talk to him and he took me to his room. I was bunking with six others. He put me crosswise on the bed, went down on me, then. Put his penis in and got off. Then he said “I did an American women.” I felt insulted as he didn’t even mention my name.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Not a soul except my psychiatrist. She was happy for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Feeling sexy and desirable was best part. Sex was okay.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Aftermath he pulled out
He said “I’ve had an American woman’,”. That pleased him more than the sex I think. Maybe he’s counting nationalities. The usual guest are young between 20-30s. So I don’t image he had many woman his to temp at work
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It surprised me that with the right flirt, I’ll hop in bed with a stranger withot beeing inebriated.which I would do all the time between ages 26-50. Then found a barnacle who stuck close to my side for 12 years.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I was flabbergasted when he said he had an American woman. That hurt a bit but then I had a man from his country. He took joy in his conquest.
Living in Honolulu I was accustomed to sleeping across ethnicites.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Get rid of the guilt. Don’t take chances in unknown places without having a friend with you. Carry pepper spray.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s terrific
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