Here for the Summer, Why Not?

by TBT

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Here for the Summer, Why Not?

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 week

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is tall, white, and narrow. From the East Coast. We met after matching on Tinder, which I downloaded for the discrete purpose of meeting people after moving to a new city. He has lived here for two years. He is terrible at texting, in that his intentions are impossible to gauge through his messages. I was endeared by his seeming uncomplicatedness.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He asked to hang out via Tinder. I gave him my number and basically encouraged him to coordinate a time that worked for him. He did, and we arranged to meet a few days later. We met in person in town in the morning, he invited me to dinner later that night.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After dinner, drinks, and strictly friendly behavior (read: zero physical contact), he invited me to go back to his place, where we made out briefly before I took off my shirt and he stuck a finger in me. I went down on him, which seemed to go over well. He looked at me and I mentioned protection. He pulled a condom out of a nightstand. It was the first time I had penetrative sex. He got off quickly, I didn’t orgasm but was more intrigued by the whole thing. He made satisfied sighs that were exciting. He was very sweet.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He invited me to stay over, which I declined. I packed up and he walked me out to my car. I kissed him and drove home. My vagina felt destroyed but I was happy that it was a generally positive experience. I felt safe with him and wanted to do it again. I was relieved not to have strong emotional ties. We had sex again a week later, though it was more of a booty call (on my part). The second time was not as good. I stayed over but left before he woke up. I’d like to have sex again but feel much more vulnerable now because I’m insecure about how round 2 went, and still don’t know what he wants… we haven’t talked about it.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend who lives out of state, my roommates, the closest friend I have made here in this new city. They were all excited, probably because they know I don’t do this. Ever.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? His satisfaction. Knowing I did that. And feeling like I could be a person who can be casually sexual, since I am never so cavalier in any other aspect of my life.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Feeling insecure about what he thinks. Wanting more for some unknown reason. Worrying about pregnancy, even though the condom didn’t break.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. Now I know I can do it, and it’s really not a big deal.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t get why such a stigma is placed on it. I also don’t think it’s for everyone. I would like for people who are interested in casual sex to not feel guilty about it. I would like older populations to stop pretending this is the Decay of intimacy in the modern age.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a good thing.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!