What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New Orleans
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Designer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Mmmm M has beautiful dark skin. An African king, this man! He’s 6 foot, lean build. A gorgeous smile. I knew M for 7 months before we hooked up. This was the first time we had sex. I met M while I was working. He came into the store I worked at, started talking and exchanged Instagram accounts. Since he was going to be in town for an extra day, we hung out for a few hours before he had to leave for the rest of his tour. I liked him a lot before we hooked up.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I want to say the hookup began as soon as we met. Meaning it felt like 7 months of foreplay before the actual sex happened. We had our first “date” the day after we met. He continued on tour. During the tour, he called and FaceTimed me often. Our next meeting was in Houston about 2 months after we met. He invited me to the concert for the artists he works for. We watched the show together then went backstage after where things got steamy. We gave each other head. Wow. The tour continued to Europe, he still would call and FaceTime. Fast forward to December. I traveled to Atlanta for family business but decided to see him while I was there, as that’s where he lives. We spent the whole evening together just having fun. Went and got some authentic African food, drank, smoked, went to the club, just a good genuine time with someone. When it was time to retire, he was a gentleman and showed me to my room where I would be sleeping (coincidentally directly across the hall from his room). We said goodnight and went to our respective rooms. I immediately changed my clothes then knocked on his bedroom door. When he opened his door, I immediately went for a kiss, which led to mind-blowing sex. Yes, Lawd!
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? This hookup was steamy and passionate. It felt like we finally were able to release all the anticipation that had been building for the past 7 months. We did like every position, and they all felt amazing. Lots of oral sex. First, he would give me head, then more sex, then I would give him head, more sex, then finally a break. Repeat. In between sex, there was intimate pillow talk. He was very affectionate and focused on me. He was a great lover – one of the best I ever had. The sex ended naturally, in my opinion. We fell asleep until the morning.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The day after the hookup I was pumped and very excited about the possibility of a future – not necessarily in a committed relationship but more along the lines of wanting it to be a friends-with-benefits situation. Whenever we find ourselves in the same city, we’ll hang out and hookup. Admittedly, I’m disappointed the amount of communication has become less than it was before we had sex. But I think that’s due to our busy busy work schedules. I still like him a lot but I have a guard up so I don’t get played
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My close girlfriends. They are living vicariously through me because the man is gorgeous!
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I was able to let my inhibitions go and he was so focused on pleasing me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I wish both of us were more sober.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Oddly enough, I think my most freeing experience with casual sex has made me become more cautious with whom I have casual sex. I think I enjoyed the build-up of the anticipation and getting to know someone before I slept with them. Before this, I don’t think I took the proper time to vet someone before sex, which often led to disappointment and regret after sex. I’m now realizing that the key for me to have good sex is when I know someone. I’m less likely to have casual sex as a result of this experience. I haven’t had sex since that hookup. Not to say I’m going to stop having sex, it just won’t be so casual anymore.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was an eye-opener in many ways ;). Meaning, he made my eyes roll back and I now view sex differently.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is fine. It’s different for everyone, you just need to figure out what works for you. Casual sex has been very prevalent in my life. I think because I really learned about sex while I was in college and because I seem to attract men easily. So the opportunity to have sex presents itself often in my life. I wish casual sex wasn’t so taboo in our society. It seems most people engage in it but older generations still have influence over society’s perspective on it, which is to be conservative. However, I think we are shifting to a more open view of sex and sexuality. With apps like Tinder, progression in LGBT rights, and gender equality, I think our views on casual sex are becoming more accepted.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love the Casual Sex Project. It’s a safe space to talk about having casual sex without feeling like a slut. Even though I’ve had a lot of sexual partners, I don’t consider myself a whore.
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