Is This Real Life?



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Management
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Is This Real Life?

How long ago did this hookup happen? This month

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was born and raised locally and was much older. We met online and knew almost nothing about one another. He was mysterious, refined, exotic, and a gentleman.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Only had one night in his city. Checked msgs from matches on a dating app, which included things like, “hey” or “sex?” However, he sent a charming msg, welcoming me to the country, with tips of what to do, and an offer to take me on a date. The one day I was in town didn’t fit well with his schedule. But he left work to take me to a hotel unlike one I’ve ever been to, ordered me food, then left again for work. It was never discussed more would happen. While at the hotel, I did some work remotely, took a bath in the jacuzzi and watched a waterfall built into the wall in front of me. I showered and shaved my legs and wondered… He came back a few hours later after leaving a meeting and we sat together with wine. He told me maybe I shouldn’t meet men this way because it was dangerous. Then we kissed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We undressed each other. We kissed more. He went down on me, licked my ass, and went to slide himself in, but I resisted for quite awhile, made him put a condom on, resisted more, smiling about it. Finally, he tried and I relaxed. My entire body lit up from the feeling. I got on top and came within a few minutes. This continued on for about three hours. To the best of my memory, I’ve never felt this good or came this many times in one go. Eventually, we were both sober. He asked if he could finish, I said yes, then he did. We took a bath together and I laid on the bed—I fell asleep within minutes. He woke me up to leave for work early the next morning

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? As he left, he said contact him with any questions during my stay in the country. I said thank you, but didn’t anticipate speaking again. What else was there to say? He msged me and asked my plans for the day, I mentioned the direction I was heading, but was making decisions one at a time with no plan whatsoever. He ended up planning and booking every part of my trip. I would look at my phone and he laid out a few options or suggestions, I expressed interest in something and received a confirmation of booking and travel tips for arriving at the destination… He never asked for anything from me, no photos, not to meet again… I ended up changing my departure airport to spend one more night with him. Perhaps we will meet up in some other country. If not, this will remain my most treasured experience with a man. I still get chills when I think about him and feel out of touch with my surroundings back at home

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The context

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It affected me very deeply and I was emotional about it even until now it feels like a haze is around me, but I sort of like this even though it does hurt a bit being so intimate so briefly and not being able to hold to the happiness he brought me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Casual sex is often perceived as something meaningless or careless, but in the right circumstance, if saved for the right person, I think it can be just as meaningful if not more so than sex in a committed and exclusive relationship.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!