What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
It Was Alright
How long ago did this hookup happen? over a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on OKC, and he was classically very good-looking. We’d met up, gone for a walk, and gone back to his place to chat some more. I was surprised that he owned zero books. We kissed a little and I had left. We continued kind of messaging and flirting a bit.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I arrived on campus after swimming at the gym, and I was complaining to him on messenger that I was not in the mood to study. We flirted a little, he said he was home and would be into hooking up, and I thought, yeah why not! So I headed over.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I got there and I think he had no shirt on, he had some music playing. We made out on his bed a bit and started getting undressed. We both did some oral, he fucked me in a few different positions – I really felt like he was trying to make me squirt, more for his satisfaction, rather than paying close attention to what was turning me on. I think eventually we just stopped, it had been fun (ish) but neither of us came. We cuddled a bit and I left.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt good about having had an adventure, because I used to be very religious, so I never did this kind of thing earlier in my twenties. I figured the first time with a new partner is never great, so wasn’t too worried about it, but willing to try again. I didn’t have very high hopes for having a relationship but thought maybe we would get good at having sex together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with my other partners, and they were like “that’s nice”. Haha. They maybe were a little jealous because this guy was good-looking in a mainstream way, but not deeply so; my other partners both knew this was not very important to me at all and I found this new guy’s fixation on his own appearance a little annoying.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sense of power and adventure. It was very sexy to be like “fuck this, I’m going go to have some afternoon sex, just because I can.”
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It was kind of boring actually. I was turned on but you know, new partner awkwardness, and feeling like we weren’t really sure how to turn each other on. I felt like he was focused on himself rather than on me, or he was focused on impressing me (lifting me up and stuff like that) in a way that was sort of impressive on an entertainment level but wasn’t sexy for me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It helped me realize I am not really interested in casual sex with people I don’t have a strong intellectual connection with. Talking philosophy and science is what makes me really respect somebody and feel attracted to them. I’m not very into casual sex in general I guess, but might attempt it again if I did have that connection (though in that case I would probably hope they’d become a partner).
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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