What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Nice, France
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Engineer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 month
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a little, thin Italian brunette with a soft and pale skin, green eyes and luscious lips. We were students in the same english school in Dublin, Ireland. I was sent there for 3 weeks by my organisation with a group of colleagues. She was there for a few month to improve her english an look for a job back in Italy afterwards. We were in the same class. I did not notice her very much at first. One day, as I was waiting in the school, she showed up and we had a little talk, she was quite friendly. From this day onwards we started to work together very often in the class, as we were always asked to work in pairs. We still had friendly talks and I started to be really attracted to her. She looked like a shy and strict girl, but for some reason I was sure she was passionate and burning with desire. I really was fantasizing about her.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I took her whatsapp, pretexting that I would advise her if we went out with my friends, in case she wanted to join us. For various reasons we could not go out, but we exchanged a lot of messages. We had a few private jokes and our conversations were pleasant. As everything looked perfect, I asked her out, which she accepted. When she showed up I immediatly noticed that she had completely changed her clothes, wearing a classy red and black robe and boots; We went to a café, then had dinner. We had a very pleasant and sincere interaction. Then we joined my friends at a bar. We had a few drinks, continued talking. At one point during the evening she invited me to come closer to her, we exchanged a few words I dont remember, then she fell into my arms. I held her tightly against me for quite some time, and we started to kiss passionately for a very long time. When we opened our eyes my friends had left. We picked up our stuff and went to her place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? At her place, she went to the shower for quite a long time. When she returned she smelled great, her hair was perfectly done. As I undressed her, I noticed she had very classy soft lingerie, her breast was soft and perfectly shaped, and her pubic hair nicely trimmed. She layed on the bed and we had vaginal sex almost directly. We were a bit tipsy so lubrication was not optimal, and she was very tight for me so it was a little painful and we decided to stop for this time. We did it again the next morning, and this time was really good. She first gave me a blowjob, then we had sex in various position, her on top, then me on top. As she was very light we could try a lot of different positions. And she was capable of shaking her hips in a way which was really pleasurable for me. We had another night with two times of sex, which were amazing to me. We did not talk too much during sex, communicating mostly with gesture, but everything was quite natural. She refused for me to give her oral sex. We talked about orgasm and she told me she never had one during sex. We used condoms all the time even though she told me she accepted without. This hookup was naturally supposed to end as I had to go back to France to my girlfriend (which she knew about). On the last morning we kissed one last time and said goodbye. We are still in touch via the Internet.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kept in touch. I felt very attracted to that girl, in a very passionate way, although I really doubt we could build something together. I was cheating on my girlfriend, but strangely I did not feel guilty. I suppose this is because the stories are very different. We have a very friendly and rational relationship with my girlfriend and I think what I did could not jeopradise my relathionship. I really thought about talking to her about it but I decided not to, as this would be useless. Now I am happy to have lived this story. I have always been afraid to listen to my instinct, and never unleashed my passion in such a way. I loved to lose control for some days. I still feel a bit special about her and I would like to meet her again. I want her to be happy.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To friends. They reacted positively
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? This was the result of a true, reciprocal attraction, with a lot of passion
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact I had to deal with having cheated
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I understood that a story can be positive and sincere, even if it is very limited in time. I now believe that there is no lover that can have at the same time very different roles such as : romantic lover / sex buddy / best friend / flatmate / parent … And that it is not a crime to search for a bit of each in different persons. I learned that I could have a very short term and passionate relationship with someone I really like although I thought I was too intellectual to allow that.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have completely stopped judging people on what you see from outside. I think society judges too harshly on relathionships that are not meant to start a family. People should be able to experiment. The only thing that matters is consent.
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