Lifestyle Change



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Saint Paul, MN
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Independent business owner
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 11
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Lifestyle Change

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Rob* and I met on whisper the week after I turned 18. I had posted on there say I wanted someone to tie me up and use me. I have always had bondage and BDSM fantasies but never intended to carry them out. Rob offered to help me explore my interests a little, buy me some sex toys, and see what happened. He said he was a professor at a local university so I was able to look him up on rate my professor and Facebook and once I decided he seemed decent enough I took him up on his offer to meet.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met in a McDonalds and chatted for a new few minutes. He offered to take me to a sex shop and buy some “supplies.” We picked up some lube, my first butt plug, and vibrator. He offered to either meet me another time or to take me to his car. At that point, I was so nervous, excited and horny that I took him up on his offer to go to the car.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He spanked me for the first time and it turned me on more than I thought it would. He put in the butt plug and let me get comfortable with that for a moment. From there he blindfolded me, fucked me with the vibrator until I came and then ate me out. He didn’t take me up on his offer to do anything to him and said he enjoyed our time together.

We meet two more times after that. He gave me more presents, paid for nice hotels and dinner— the best time being when he left me tied up around the corner from the door and ordered pizza but I was leaving for the summer so we ended it after that.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt pretty good about it. I think knowing he was a guy with a reputation I could hurt, if he hurt me made me feel safer. I would enjoy another encounter if I was given the opportunity but we have lost touch since then so it probably won’t happen.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device), Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Submission / Relinquishing power, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. He was a much older, married man who I was letting spank and tie me up. It wasn’t something I could tell anyone.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting a chance to try light bdsm

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I feel alittle bad that he was married.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s helped me realize I do actually enjoy aspects of the bdsm life style and want to continue to find new opportunities and experiences.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish they were alittle more accepted but in other hookups, I have had my friends have been accepting.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love the idea!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!