Mixed Feelings

by Nicole
Gender: Female
Age: 18

Race/ethnicity: Mexican
Location: Mexico City
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? I rarely find a girl I like
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none


Mixed Feelings

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him at a party, and then we started hanging out and sort of liked each other. He is quite slim, the “good boy” kind of look, with nice, curly hair.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The first time we went out on a date I had refused to do anything sexually related with him, because he told me he had a girlfriend, but we kept on seeing each other. One night, he invited me to a party at one of his friend’s apartment, and at first we were just talking (I can’t drink since I’m on medication) but that night I did, and got a little dizzy and for some reason hid into one of the closets and he followed me and…well…you know.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was A LOT of foreplay, since we stayed in the closet for about half an hour, he kissed me passionately (and he discovered my weak points) and then I gave him a hand job and he fingered me, and that made me horny as hell! When we finally left the closet we went into another room, and the clothes came off again. I must admit I was glad he had a nice penis and even though he didn’t last long (about 10 minutes), it was really good. I left him covered in hickeys. After that I was a bit confused, as I didn’t really know whether he was going to leave immediately or he was going to stay (which I sort of wished he did) and fortunately for me, we cuddled for a long time and he kept kissing my forehead. Then we got dressed and just went into the living room trying to pretend nothing happened.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? At the time we did not have condoms, but the next day I took the morning after pill.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I just wanted to, and there was the opportunity, so I took it.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Just a bit of alcohol, but I’m quite sure it had nothing to do with it.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt pleased, I didn’t expect him to talk to me again, but he did, and we have hooked up once after that, but he still has a girlfriend, and even though I want absolutely no commitments it bothers me a bit.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To my best friends only, and some told me it was too slutty.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, of course

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Hmm…sort of, because I already had some feelings for him, and even though they haven’t got any deeper, it still shook me up a bit.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that I really enjoyed it (since it had been like 4 months since the last time I had sex) and that it kind of created a bond between us, the worst thing is that he still has a girlfriend, which makes me feel bad sometimes.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What did you think about this story? Tell us in the comments – just be nice!

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