What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? Jakarta
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Researcher
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Muslim
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
My First Interracial Hook Up Experience
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him on Tinder (while on vacation), and I was thinking twice before swiping right on him. He was not looking good in photos, and did not give much description on his profile. Although his photos were that ugly, I tended to swipe him right because he seemed like an adventurous guy (he put a photo while he did sky diving) and has traveled in many places. And his shirtless pose was kind of a bit sexy.
In Tinder, he initiated conversation very well-mannered and outgoingly. I still felt nothing about him. Actually, he wanted to invite me to his hotel room right away. But I offered another option, to meet at a bar in the middle of each other’s places.
I came a little bit late. He’s way more good looking in reality, sweet, and smart.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He must have had the intention for hook up at first, meanwhile I felt like I had nothing to loose, I was only looking for a drinking buddy. After we drank cocktails and 1-2 shots of vodka, he asked me to walk around to his place. We talked a lot during walking. Then we arrived at his hotel, and he asked me to chill near the pool. He started to kiss my cheek. I just kept talking and did not reply. He kissed my cheek once more and asked, ‘Do you want to kiss this European guy right now?’. I just laughed and fooled around. Long story short I leaned my head on his shoulders and he kissed my lips. Without any hesitation, I kissed him back and everything felt way steamier than before. His hand slipped under my skirt, and we began to kiss each others neck. Then he asked me to move into his room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We did oral stuff to each other. It was my first time performing a blow job, and being licked on my vagina. I felt so comfortable with him because he didn’t ask/force me to do penetrative sex. Then I let him lick me, and I felt intrigued to please him more. He spank me a little, which was very sexy. While I was giving him a hand job, he came on my stomach and fell on me afterwards. After cleaning up, I asked him to lay down beside me. We were hugging and talked sweet things, until he finally felt the time was up, his friend was about to arrive. He walked me to my hotel, we still chatted for quite a bit. In front of my hotel, I said good bye and he hugged me very tightly. I asked him for the last kiss, and he gave me a strong one. He said that he would text me once he arrived back at his hotel.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He kept writing me after the hook up. Seemed like he couldn’t get enough of me, but he had to continue his trip. Though, he convinced me to maintain this connection afterwards. I started liking him in the next day. We promised to keep talking to each other and maybe visit each other when possible. It has been 5 months after the hook up, and he is still around by text and sometimes sexy video calls. I wish I can meet him again someday, and maybe start going out with him. I’m really comfortable with him and enjoyed talking with him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends. They saw this as a good sign for future relationship with him.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He, himself. A very sweet and respectful guy, and the fact he is still around until now.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The short time… We only met for 2-3 hours and then separated away when we felt really click to each other.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes! He has brought many positive changes in my life.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Somehow, while the experience is good it boosted my confidence and self esteem. But more than once I had terrible experiences which made me sad and vulnerable. Honestly, I want to reduce the frequency of casual sex and want to settle down..
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This project help me to share what I have deep down inside!
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