Never Again

by Mnemosyne

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Moldova
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Asexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7

Never Again

How long ago did this hookup happen? two years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was another student at my college. A very sociable guy, who knows a lot of people around the school. He Hhs a beard, enjoys rock concerts and is always busy. I had never talked to him before. He was just a fellow colleague.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He learned that I have a bike and told me that he has one too. Then, he proposed to go biking on the same day. We went biking and spent the entire day together. We got some donuts from a place that was opened only on warm days, sat on the grass and talked about a lot of things. One thing led to another, and he said he was very open-minded sexually. I kept that in mind.
The next day he invited me to another biking session and after that, we watched a movie at his place. The roommates went out, the movie ended, and we were cuddling. I really wanted a bit of physical closeness with someone and so I enjoyed his embrace. He took that as an invite on my part and he made advances on me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He started undressing me, performed some oral on me which I couldn’t enjoy because I was a bit self-conscious. I was laying on the bed, and he was standing. He put on a condom and put it inside, then started moving and I couldn’t quite feel much at first, but when he started thrusting deeper, it felt good. Or so I thought. I told him to thrust stronger, but…it was just too strong. He made me stand up, picked me up in his arms, and fucked me standing. Then I sucked him off a bit, and then we did it on the floor, me on top. I completely lost the feeling of being turned on the moment he took off the condom and started fucking me raw. He finished fast after doing that.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next few days I really felt the hits he did in my cervix, it was sore and felt weird. Also, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of disgust about the whole situation and his dick that kinda looked like a dog’s. I didn’t want to talk with him ever again. He still acts friendly whenever we meet around campus, but I cant help but avoid anything related to him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? He was the one that initiated it

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Immediately after returning to my dorm I called my friend out to tell her and just talk. I told her about what happened, how bad I felt, and how I regret what I did and wished it never happened. She was understanding.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? Because I didn’t say ‘no’
Because even if I went with it, couldn’t enjoy it at all.
Because I didn’t walk away the moment he took off the condom and made me do it without it.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Doing it without a condom and having the possibility of catching some STD.
The overall experience was pretty unpleasurable.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I understood that I can’t enjoy having sex with someone I’m not fully emotionally connected to. Therefore  I cant enjoy hookups.

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!