What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? NYC
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I mostly sleep with men, but I’m attracted to all genders
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 69
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Picked up a boy on Delancey Street
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was leaving a boring birthday party in the LES. I was looking for adventure. I told myself, that if I couldn’t find something interesting to do between where I was and the subway station I was headed to, I would take the train home. Thus, I gave myself a challenge to get into an adventure. Anything. I was slightly tipsy, not entirely drunk. I was half a block away from my subway station, and I thought that I was going to have to just go home, until I spotted him. Walking alone, just like me. He seemed sober, although as little bit sad-looking. He didn’t look like he was going anywhere. He was just strolling. He was taller than me and I’m already tall. Plus I was wearing heels. He had dark hair, and looked a little nerdy. (My type.) I was curious. I had a high confidence streak lately. I caught up to him, tapped on his shoulder and said, “Hey, do you know any good bars around here?” He said, “Uh… No. I was kind of wondering the same thing.” Then I said, “You want to look for one together?” He was sort of taken aback by my boldness but agreed. We walked down the block, past my subway station, and turned the corner. We quickly found a whiskey bar and sat down in a corner booth. He seemed excited that I ordered straight whiskey. We quickly started getting drunker. We really hit it off. We skipped the small talk and got talking about some surprisingly deep stuff. Amazing, considering we were a few drinks in and it was 3am now.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We got pretty drunk, and started making out in the bar. We wanted to be all over each other, but both of us were shy about PDA. He asked me if I wanted to come back to his place. I said yes. We hopped in a cab and went to his apartment in midtown. We spent the whole cab ride making out with each other. When we got to his apartment, he told me to stay quiet, because his roommate and his girlfriend was in the other room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We almost didn’t make it into the bedroom. We left a cliché trail of clothes around. I sucked his cock, which was huge. He went down on me. Then we fucked. Hard. He had amazing stamina. I was drunk so I almost couldn’t keep up!! The entire time he was complimenting me and telling me how crazy this situation was. Neither of us have just fucked a stranger off the street.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I woke up with him. We talked. He was a lot more neurotic sans alcohol, which I found endearing. He went down on me again, and then we fucked. I got dressed, we got each other’s numbers, and I left. In the following weeks, we fucked a few more times, including one time on his couch when his roommate was away. It was amazing.
Then suddenly he ghosted me. I was so confused as to why this was happening. I didn’t think I had pissed him off or smothered him. Turns out, he was starting to become attached with me, and didn’t think he was ready for that, and thought that completely getting rid of me was the best bet. Alas.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Told my close friends. They thought I was crazy for picking up a guy off the street, but typical of my behavior.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I just wish he didn’t attach emotions to sex like he did. And that he would have communicated with me when he became conflicted with his emotions. The sex was good!!
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Good dick. Good sex. Nice, interesting guy.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That he just fell off the face of the earth and left me so confused.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I may have been too insensitive with casual sex experiences. Or I may have missed out on some good people to date because I considered my encounters to be purely sexual. I have since become much more accepting of emotions. Not saying that’s right for everyone, but this guy triggered a new phase in my life where I am choosing to build stronger connections with people I sleep with.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I would recommend walking up to people you find interesting and attractive on the street, and creating a connection in a non-creepy, safe way. You never know what could happen.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Amazing.
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