What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? New Zealand
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? A few
How long ago did this hookup happen? Up to a few Weeks back
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Typically matched on Tinder, mid 20’s kind of my type guy. Chatted for awhile before exchanging numbers and chatted a lot more, ended up eventually meeting for an okay date. It initially seemed more friend like with neither of us in a hurry to meet up again, especially dealing with my own drama of another ex fling like guy at the time. We ended up going on a few more dates a month or two later leading into a kind of relationship that lasted just under a month before being more just sex and kind of dates for another month.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Funnily enough, we rushed so fast into dating and to be in a relationship, deciding to be together, and social media official before even having sex. I did start to have doubts of after having sex the first time but ignored this, due to us having had been slightly drinking beforehand and generally having a good chemistry and liking each other.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time having sex together was not that great, or to be that memorable, the only thing standing out was the surprise of how much smaller he was compared to other guys and ones I’d been with. I didn’t let this put me off hoping it would be better in the morning or the next time we tried. It was most of the time, with switching to me being on top most times or missionary, which was generally quite good most the time. It was especially good with him starting to know my body so well or when I liked things slightly rougher, like my hair being pulled right back or my neck and boobs bitten. It was particularly better when it got into a better rhythm and knowing each other better, of him causing me to scream down the house with the help of my nipple piercings and pretty good oral.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel semi fine about them now than I did previously when things were so up and down of what we were doing and constantly being in contact to end up back together or at least having a lot more sex together. It did get quite indecisive and explosive at times when I wasn’t coping with some decisions made mainly by him of what he wanted, like wanting things ended just before I moved, which I knew was not a smart idea. I’d get more attached so we ended things, which was not the smartest. We ended early in the morning or on the best terms with him leaving. It was what he wanted so I respected that and knew it was for the best with how up and down things were with him mainly wanting it so carefree and mainly sex which I did not want.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends, of course, knew and they were generally supportive and happy at the beginning of me being in a relationship. They knew I really liked him but became more protective and vocal about it needing to be over when things got so up and down and I wasn’t coping with what he wanted.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? It was getting so complicated and both of us being so indecisive. They were some difficult moments when things obviously got more serious and progressing faster than he wanted, as some decisions, he was not expecting to happen or wanting like me moving away. It would have been easier to let things end the first time than constantly kind of getting back together. I had pretty strong feelings for him and enjoyed the dates and time together as well as the sex so shouldn’t have continued so long when he obviously was feeling very different about things.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was quite good and the intimacy, actually having sex and being close to someone I actually liked and got feelings for despite the complications in the last month of it, where it turned more hookup like and complicated.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Getting feelings. Which was bound to happen when seeing someone so much, talking to them a lot and deciding to be in a relationship. This turned short lived due to some differences and deciding to move away for life style changes. This caused it to end when the person didn’t want it too complicated or wanted more, due to the lack of convenience and effort that was needed to make it work.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I’m still hesitant about dating and guys in general. Generally, I was quite fine with casual sex at times with some situations working better than others but certainly was complicated this time going from kind of friends to in a relationship to mainly sex due to not wanting to let go or say goodbye, and the sex being so good.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I generally find casual sex can work with both people are upfront about what they want or don’t. It can tend to get more complicated with intimacy, feelings and in this case when it started more towards dating/in a relationship but quickly turned more into sex and hookup like when some things became too difficult.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great, some of the stories are quite interesting.
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