What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? India
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Hindu
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2.5 months
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a below average looking guy. The kind of guy I would never date, and hence would never tell anyone that I had a fling with him. We were acquaintances for like 2 years or so. Didn’t know him that well. I started working in the same firm as he was, and hence we started seeing each other everyday.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? One weekend we went to a club with some other friends. I had a few drinks and was feeling really horny. I was in a long distance relationship for a few months now, and was feeling lonely and desired sexual pleasure. The guy was too in a long distance relationship. There was no planning involved. I just stayed back in his apartment that night, and we ended up hooking. Didn’t have sex, but oral hook up.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We would hook up on and off for 2.5 months approximately after that night. I had merely physical feelings for him. The hook up involved only oral sex, there was no penetration. We were both virgins and I had no intention to lose my virginity to this person. He was good at whatever happened, he could arouse me in ways my long term boyfriend never could. My boyfriend and I never had sex, because I was never ready to do it, due to reasons like premarital sex is immoral and it really hurts the first time, etc. I loved him very much but I was never physically aroused and we both sometimes wondered that I had some hormonal problem or something. But after hooking up with this guy I realized I was just not sexually compatible with my boyfriend. Nevertheless, I wanted to lose my virginity only with the person I love and not during a random fling. After a month or so of this hook up the guy told me he is falling in love with me, and I brushed it aside saying it’s not possible to be in love so soon. Even though this guy aroused me he didn’t know how to satisfy. He orgasmed with me doing oral stuff with him, but I never did. After a few minutes of fingering he would give up and sleep. I was turned on very badly and completely unsatisfied on few occasions, which made me so mad. All worked out fine for me in the end because after a few weeks he was leaving the city. After he left we stayed in touch for a while. He later wished that we could remain friends always. I had no such desire and I blocked him from all the social media accounts.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt a bit calm after the first night because it had been a long time since I had been physical with anyone. I hoped on later encounters things would be better and I would be happily hooking up with him. I feel indifferent for him now. He never really crosses my mind.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? No strings attached
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? No orgasm
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I never told my boyfriend about the hook up. For me it’s done and forgotten. I don’t regret it or feel guilty. I don’t believe this was cheating. For me cheating would be if I fall in love with someone while I am still in a relationship, but getting physical with no love or attachment is not cheating for me.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? we tend to learn something new with every sexual experience, what to do and what not to do.I think casual sex is okay as long as it’s casual for both the people involved. If one person falls in love it gets complicated, so we need to be careful. I personally do not wish to break anyone’s heart. Just enjoy the night.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great job. I am glad there is this place where I can share my secrets.
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