The Final Time

by JJ

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? Filipino
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? San Francisco
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

The Final Time

How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Let’s call her T. I met T during college and we had become pretty good friends, we even considered each other “best friends”. I always thought T was very hot and always thought we were too cool to hook up. Also, we were both in a relationships at the time. We started hooking up following a break up I had, but she was still in a relationship.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had been hooking up for almost 4 months at this point, but I was getting tired of being a side dude and let T know that I wanted more. She was never gonna leave her partner at the time though. The last time we had hooked up was supposed to be a night to just hang out. We were hanging around her neighborhood and we both just kind of got lost in the moment.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Right behind her house there was a walking path. It was about midnight and we were roaming and drinking. We started joking and playfully pushing, which then led to us making out and touching. She then whispered in my ear to “I want you to fuck me right here.” Along the path was a bunch of grass and we were rolling in the grass and making out. She was in sweatpants, so I pulled them off and got on top and started to fuck her on the grass. I was fucking her for a little bit and I felt her put her legs up and holding them up herself. She was pretty flexible. She also knew I was really into talking dirty so she was saying things like “you like fucking your best friend?” or “go deeper daddy!” She then got on top and started to ride me. From there she got off and started to go down on me. Before I knew it, I was cumming in her mouth. We got back up and laughed about what had just happened. We started to make out again and within 10 minutes, her pants were down to her ankles and she was bent over with her hands touching the ground and I was fucking from behind. We then heard footsteps and stopped.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kept talking for a bit after and still had occasional sexting or phone sex. I had really hoped that we would end up dating officially, but she stayed with the same guy for a couple more months and I got back with my ex. We both have separate lives now and we appreciate the times we had together, but both recognize that it was in the past.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Some friends. A lot of our hooking up stories weren’t shared with other people in detail.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The whole experience was great. Having sex with someone your very attracted to under moon and star light.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? She got mosquito bites.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think I am a little less daring about the public aspect of sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Probably top 5 experience I revisit when I masturbate.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think religion and culture really paint a negative picture on a person’s sexuality, and sex drive. I’m not opposed to people being more open vs more conservative but sex and slut shamming have no place in this day and age. Let people live and a person should worry about their own sex lives and not the sex lives of others.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a fun page to visit and read about other people’s experiences good and bad. I feel it depicts a fair view on sexuality and sex acts. It’s coming straight from the experiences of people, which isn’t overly romanticized or fetishized.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!