What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was studying in Asia for a little bit and used Tinder whenever I was bored. The guys on Tinder in this country all had zero game and conversations would die down faster than anything. However, this guy was great at holding a conversation and I appreciated that. Before meeting him, I had met a few other guys off Tinder, but those dates usually ended up with only oral sex or very mediocre sex. With this guy, we had many conversations on our sexual preferences/kinks etc., so before actually meeting we already knew what the other person liked in that area.
We had been talking for about 1-2 weeks until we decided to meet up. There were nights we were up until 4am just talking to each other. At this point, I kinda liked him. But to be frank, how much can you like someone without meeting them? At least for me, it’s hard to like a person I’ve only talked to via text.
Anyway, we met at a busy and well-known district in the city. He was not a catfish (thank god) and was pretty cute in real life.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met up and went for karaoke. He booked a private room for us and we ordered food and alcohol. He was mainly singing and I occasionally sang along, because his voice was really good and mine kind of sounds like a dying cat. Anyways, we sometimes took breaks and just talked. At one point (when we were both pretty tipsy) he told me to stand up for a second, only to slap my ass and tell me I was thick. This was probably the event that led up to everything else. Our conversations got more sexual and the overall vibe was just different. We ended up spending three hours there until we moved on to the next location. He suggested to go to a hotel, so that’s what we did. Before meeting, we had actually talked about hooking up at a hotel and basically just fucking the whole night. While we were at the karaoke, I was still unsure if we were gonna follow through with it, until he suggested it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Once we got to the hotel, we both wanted to take a shower first, because it was summer and we were sweaty. I took a shower first and came out in a bathrobe. I sat on the bed and went on my phone for a little bit. Instead of taking a shower after me, he sat down on the bed and came in for a kiss. The kiss was pretty intimate and hot. He started rubbing me and suggested to just do it then and there. Despite how much I was into it, I preferred him to take a shower too. I told him and he did.
When he came back, he didn’t hesitate to get right into it. It all started with kissing for a good while. After this he slowly started going down on me and I wasn’t complaining. He was a bit too rough with the fingering, but when I told him he chilled. I think he might have eaten me out for a good thirty minutes, but I still hadn’t cum. He then came up and we made out some more before he put on a condom and put it in. We were in missionary and this lasted for a bit. He kept on pulling out for some reason. Later I found out that I was too tight and he didn’t want to cum too fast. We did doggy and he ended up cumming pretty fast. At this point I still hadn’t cum, so he ate me out and fingered me for a little bit. I don’t know what it was, but I wasn’t able to cum at all. I wasn’t too sad about it and ended up giving him a blowjob (and he came again). When we were done, it must’ve been 3/4 am and we spent some time making out followed by a shower.
Afterwards, we found a restaurant near our hotel and had some food. When we came back, we went to sleep. The next morning, we walked to the station together and he saw me off before going. He gave me a kiss and watched me leave before leaving himself.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After this particular hookup, we met up two more times, hung out and fucked again. To this day, we’re still talking daily and it’s pretty nice. I think I might like him but he lives on the other side of the world, so that’s not something I wanna pursue. We planned to meet each other again next summer, but we’ll see if that’s gonna happen.
After the hookup I felt okay. I was kind of sad about the fact that I probably wouldn’t see him again (which I actually did), but overall it was a fun experience.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told all my close friends. They were all supportive and none were judgemental. Some were surprised, but not in a bad way.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Probably the conversations we had about everything. We could be talking for hours and it would still be as fun. Sex-wise, I loved the fact that he loved giving oral.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that I didn’t cum. He tried and felt bad about it, but it is what it is.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I hasn’t changed my perspective on casual sex, as it’s always been fairly positive. In my opinion, everyone should be able to do whatever they want to without any judgement, as long as there’s mutual consent and respect. Having a lot of sex doesn’t say anything about you as a person and it doesn’t decrease your self-worth. Sex can be casual and an intimate relationship is not necessary or mandatory for sex to happen.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? For me, casual sex has mainly been a positive thing. In the beginning, it was hard, because I was scared to develop feelings afterwards, but now it’s fine. It should be something that people can do without being judged, as it’s such a normal act. Nowadays, society is slowly becoming more open to the idea of casual sex, but there’s still a huge stigma towards it. This stigma mainly exists towards women. They are called sluts or hoes for being sexually active with multiple partners. On the other side, guys are oftentimes encouraged for the same behaviour. There are definitely times guys are being called fuckboys for that behaviour, but the pressure to be prude (but not too prude) is mainly on women. I want fair treatment for all genders, but I feel like we still have a long way to go to becoming an accepting and open society.
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