What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 17
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Spiritual
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 24
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Trip Back Home
How long ago did this hookup happen? 20 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Rivals, in a hate/dislike relationship
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup?
We were neighbors since we were in diapers. Our parents were friends but we resented each other. We went to the same school. He was always first place in the class rankings but three when it came to looks. We had never hooked up before. I don’t think we ever had a conversation past snaring comment.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it?
I went back home (Kenya) for a few weeks to visit my family. On my second day, my grandparents threw a party where all the neighbors and family were invited. Thus, his parents told him he could not miss it. He came towards the end when my cousin and I were sneaking off to go smoke a cigarette and he decided to follow us. When we got back to the party, most of the adults were really drunk. So he, my cousin, one of my friends and I went to my old room and we all sat there. Somehow I ended up on his lap with his arms around me, just making out.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?
We went to get tattoos and for some reason seeing him get one really turned me on. When we got back home, we had oral and vaginal sex. He was really good at getting me wet and in the mood, and his strokes felt good but he did not last that long. It ended after he cam. But we continued seeing each other and hooking up for the 4 weeks when I was back home. Then I never kept in contact with him after I came back to the U.S.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It’s safe to say we do not hate each other anymore. We talked a lot about our lives and how things were going and our futures (separately) after. Neither one of us had the intention of making this last longer than the 4-week lifespan it had.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness. Learning new things, experimenting. Making new friends. Just happened, I don’t know why. Just went along with it. It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I initiated it
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My cousin and friend knew. We did not keep it very private (We did a lot of making out, fingering, and wall pushing on the street). I think it was expected. I’m usually a bit promiscuous.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We realized we had no reason to dislike each other.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He cam too soon
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No. I always think sex is just something that releases positive endorphins.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard?
Casual sex has a really bad reputation and it especially is when women do it. But I think this is something that is fairly normal and does not need a taboo factor around it. Just enjoy it and be safe. If you are like me and condoms are not always your thing, actually talk about your STD/STI history and when the last time you got checked was.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I am intrigued
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!