What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? Singapore
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status?
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
Sex And Massage
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It was a guy in his late 30’s. Pretty decent shape, no six pack but has good muscle definition.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I met this guy on a dating app. I am a grad student and have been doing some massage on the side to earn extra money. I had massaged him a few times before and it usually just ended up with me giving him a hand job. I usually massage in my underwear and his hands would roam around my body but sometimes try to reach underneath. Nothing more sexual usually happened. During one massage session, I started to tease him. When I was massaging his chest I sat on him and started to grind my ass into his dick. He started to grab my ass and soon pulled my underwear off. His dick was rock hard and was poking around my hole. I wasn’t planning on doing anything more than just giving him a handjob as usual but then he pulled me down and started to kiss me. He asked if I was a bottom and I said I was. I continued with the massage and he started to finger me. He was quiet for a while then asked if he could fuck me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started to fuck missionary style (with a condom of course). He was a good top and fucked me in various different positions, from sideways to doggy. His cock was average sized and not too thick which made it easier to take. He didn’t talk much, just flipped me into different positions. We came about the same time and after we cleaned up and took a shower. He paid me extra than he usually does for the massage and thanked me for the experience.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The sex was enjoyable and I was attracted to him. I did feel like I crossed the line by sleeping with a client, like I was selling my body. But it did turn me on to know that he wanted me bad enough to pay for it. I was probably a bit shy during the encounter. I actually wanted to suck his dick but I wasn’t sure how to behave in a massage turned sex situation.
This experience did open the door to a few more experiences where I have agreed to sleep with clients, even ones I wasn’t attracted to.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Material rewards (gifts, money, drinks, dinner…), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I said yes.
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? no one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I earned extra money and had fun.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I realized that selling my body for sex didn’t make feel as guilty as I thought it would. But I also think it is because I didn’t start the situation by offering myself.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex is just sex. We really shouldn’t judge people as long as we are being safe and not hurting anyone else. The lines of paid sex are quite blur as well. I wonder if I was actually paid for sex or just the massage. The additional ‘tip’ however could be seen as an extra for the extra I provided. And I wonder if I could consider myself a part-time sex worker.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think its a great place for people to share experiences in a judgement free space.
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