What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 39
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? student/stay at home Mom
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Too many to count (more than 50, I think less than 100)
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Sucked a Dude Off For a Few Bucks
How long ago did this hookup happen? more than 10 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was kind of an ugly inexperienced looking young man. I was sitting next to him in the strip club. I didn’t know him at all. I just thought he looked like easy prey.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was watching the girl on stage and thinking that I would like a lap dance. Unfortunately, I was drunk and out of money. I leant over to the guy next to me and told him that I would give him a blow job for the money for a lap dance. I didn’t plan it at all. I think I was just really drunk; I’ve never done anything like that before.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went out to his car, he laid the money on the dash, and I sucked his dick. It was really hot somehow, but not as satisfying as I had expected. I didn’t find the guy that attractive. I didn’t get off or anything. (I didn’t even try to.) Luckily, he came really quickly. I swallowed the cum, grabbed my money, and went back inside. I got a lap dance next with a hot chick. She was so hot and let me suck her nipples and rub her all over. I didn’t speak to the guy at all anymore that night.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I had mixed feelings about it. I felt like a dirty whore, but that had kind of been the point. I think that if I had been able to get off at some point it would have been much more satisfying.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication, Power / Dominance
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? It just turned out not to be as good in reality as it had been in my imagination.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The lap dance I got afterward from the stripper.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t get off.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. It made me realize that dudes that you offer sex to frequently don’t care if you get off or not. I love to be a dirty whore, but nowadays I just do it with my husband. I find that I can let him cum in my mouth, all over my face, fuck me in the ass or anything else he or I would like that evening and receive intense sexual pleasure during and after as much as he and I want. We have a sky’s the limit policy with each other and experience all and/or any sexual act that we can do together. I have had a lot of sex with a lot of men, but I found that they usually didn’t care that much about my pleasure. Consequently, I never really got off the way I do now with my husband. When I sucked that dude’s dick for money he didn’t really give a fuck about me or if I was enjoying it. When my husband and I are together, we can do anything and everything we want and he cares about my pleasure. Of all the men that I have slept with, I never had pleasure so completely because they didn’t really care, didn’t take the time, and didn’t give me what I needed to really get off and get the most pleasure that I could. Most guys that I have had casual encounters with were just in it for their pleasure and didn’t really care if I got off or not.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I should have asked for more money. A blowjob for the price of a lap dance seems pretty cheap. Luckily it didn’t take long.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think that casual sex is great when you haven’t found someone to really satisfy you. However, my husband is able to satisfy me now like no one else ever did. I think that this is for two reasons, one is because we are completely open about what we will do and we talk to each other about how things feel and what we like and want. My husband will also make sure that I have had enough and that I am done. He will give me whatever I want. So casual sex was fine for me before I met my husband, and I enjoyed having it at the time. But, I now find that all of the sex I had with the many partners (way over 50 probably less than 100) really just prepared me to have an honest and exciting sex life with my husband. I slept with a lot of men when I was younger and thought it was great. It kind of was. I live in the mid west and slutty behavior is pretty taboo and hush-hush. I do wish that people could be more open about sex and think that it is ok to be open about sex. I wish that I hadn’t spent years feeling like I had done “bad things”. Those things prepared me for the best sex ever now. If I hadn’t had so much sex before I probably wouldn’t feel so comfortable now doing anything and everything with my husband. We are thinking of a sex swing!
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is good to talk about casual sex. I think that it could help to dispel some of the negativity surrounding casual sex.
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