We Project Onto Others What We Have Inside Us



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? Late 20s
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? San Diego
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Consultant
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? 0
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

We Project Onto Others What We Have Inside Us

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 days

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I found her through the erotic ads, she looked nice in the pictures so I texted her and arranged to meet at a hotel. She first asked to arrive later than planned because she had a previous service and could not make it on time, then she arrived an hour after what was expected. Somehow I wasnt all that upset about it. When I first saw her I thought she looked frail and too thin, and got a little worried about her health.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She is an escort and I found her ad and asked her about it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to my room, and she actually asked if she could sleep after we had sex. That just about broke my heart so I told her she could rest as much as she wanted. She took off her clothes and asked me to do the same and to heat her up under the bedcovers. She was very cold but fell asleep quickly (later she explained she hadn’t slept at all in over 24 hours). I was mostly bewildered, feeling the warmth of her body in my arms and listening to her snores, but it felt too good to be hugged that way and I fell asleep too, we stayed that way for about 4-5 hours. A noise woke us up and I asked her if we could go, she started to give me a bj, but I was already fully excited, so instead, I put on the condom and entered her, missionary. I kissed her and she kissed back and we were like that for a while until I climaxed, then we slept again for 2-3 more hours. When we woke up, I asked her about going again and we did, this time first from behind with her in a prone position, and then she rode me to completion.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When we woke up in the morning we showered together, we talked a little, I bought her food from a street cart and said our goodbyes. As I spoke to her and listened to her trains of thought, I thought this girl was similar to me in a certain way, and that I would be contented just getting to know her. She was courteous with the hotel staff and cheery with me as we left the place. I even fantasized about becoming a regular or perhaps something more, but as the days went by and the hormones subsided, I know that is simply my imagination, am just left with a pleasant memory of a warm night in the arms of a working girl.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? None

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That she trusted me enough to not hurt/rob her while she was sleeping.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I probably won’t ever see her again.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It reminded me I like women, in general, more than I thought. Made me feel good to believe her plans to get out of her line of work will succeed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wish I could’ve gotten her something better to eat than tacos from a street cart.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I do not care for casual sex, but understand that sometimes relationships are too much work. I believe in safe sex, and that prostitution should be legalized and regulated to protect girls like this.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I do not know what that is.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!