by Online Desires

Gender: Female
Age: 28
Race/ethnicity: East Asian
Location: NYC
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Sales & Marketing
Relationship status: Committed
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Subject: Submissive

How long ago did this hookup happen? More than 2 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Craigslist booty call

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a European film director based in New York. I answered to his post on Craiglist because it stood out from all the others and I was intrigued (I had just been introduced to the world of finding guys to hook up with online and was very happy with the experiences I had). He was looking for a submissive and described in detail what it would involve. I e-mailed him and we exchanged face photos. I think I also sent him naked photos but with my face cropped out. He warned me that he has a girlfriend but that she was aware of this and was cool with it because she wasn’t into the kind of sex he was into. I was reluctant, but I believed that he was telling the truth because there was no need for him to mention a girlfriend in the first place.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We exchanged about five e-mails each before meeting at a cafe near my apartment.

He had a small build and didn’t look like guys I was usually attracted to, but I was already turned on by the e-mails he wrote, and there was something mysterious about him that made him sexy. 

After a short chat, we decided to go up to my apartment.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Before we met, he had mentioned that we could start with a light submission scenario and that I should say something if I ever felt uncomfortable.

What actually happened doesn’t seem like much, especially because there was no penetration, but he kept me wet for more than three hours!

He blindfolded me and told me to go on all fours. He kept switching from being really sweet to being slightly rough, like shoving my dildo into my mouth or slapping my face (gently). He basically ordered me around for more than three hours (in a dominant but tender way for the most part) and during this time I did stuff like take off my clothes, play with myself, make myself come using my dildo, kissing him, going down on him (he had a very small penis, which led me to suspect that it’s part of the reason why he likes this kind of sexual interaction…). One strange thing he made me do was to salivate a lot. He told me to keep my mouth open and he would lick the saliva coming out of my mouth.

He would whisper orders into my ears and with his accent he kind of sounded like Dracula… which kind of turned me on! And he would call me dirty names but also call me a beautiful princess (switching back and forth), and he would order me to talk dirty as well.

After three hours my body was exhausted, but I stayed so wet and turned on (my clit was swollen during the whole time).

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? There was no penetration ever but before we met we had agreed we would use condoms.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was intrigued and wanted to see if being submissive would be something I could be into.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Not at all.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was amazed and even more intrigued, because he was able to keep me turned on for hours! Without any penetration! I yearned to see him again so we could have another play session. I saw him just one more time because he was traveling a lot (and during this time I was hooking up with other guys). I started dating someone a couple of months after so I didn’t see him after. He actually contacted me a year later to ask if I was still in a relationship (and I was). He was very sweet about it and just wished me well.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told several of my friends who I had told about my sexual encounters online. They were intrigued but some were also worried about my safety. I find it hard to describe the encounter I had with him and how it turned me on so much. Very much psychological more than just physical.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner?: Yes, it was consensual.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? BEST: experiencing something different
WORST: that he had a girlfriend (even though she supposedly knew)

It hasn’t changed the way I think about casual sex per se but there was a lot more of a psychological aspect involved so that was something new in my casual encounters. 

He definitely made me feel even more desired than most of my casual sex encounters because it was very focused on me. All the attention was on me and it wasn’t about about him coming. He treated me like his little sex slave and I didn’t think that would turn me on.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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