What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? California
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Straight
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 32
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3
Summer Babe (Laguna Beach Version)
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Julian (name-has-been-changed) on Tinder and we met up to go to the beach. He was extremely attractive – over six foot, athletic build, creamy caramel skin, stylish. Your classic popular-alpha male. I felt instantly like the awkward girl who sits at the back of the class and watches the popular guys having fun and making jokes. This guy wants to hang with me?? Maybe that’s the greatest flaw of the very attractive, they are unnerving. We had a fun time at the beach, swimming in the water, talking about our lives. He was quite interesting. He wasn’t the best listener, although he did seem interested in me. I couldn’t quite tell if he found me attractive though, until later when he mentioned that I was “very pretty” in the context of the conversation we were having. I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he was too good for me, although I don’t even know what ‘being too good’ for someone actually means. I have been told by a lot of people that I am very attractive, but somehow when I’m with someone, being attractive and feeling attractive don’t always mesh up for me. Although I know from the outside looking in, I doubt that anyone was thinking that I wasn’t good enough for him, but that’s how I felt, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After spending most of the day at the beach, we made tentative plans to meet up later that night. Julian texted me and invited me to a “Sunset Cinema” at the local beach. I felt a bit stressed out getting ready – I felt extra pressure to look great. I met up with him and we had a good time, laughing about the movie and flirting. He held my hand and offered his shoulder for me to lay on. After the movie he invited me back to his place, which was another cool experience after everything. He lived in the most beautiful hillside studio, overlooking the beach in Laguna. It was really like being in a fantasy, beautiful location, extremely handsome man. He kissed me on his porch under the moonlight, which I realize is the most romantic thing ever. I had a friend once tell me that she doesn’t believe that there are good and bad kissers, just people that fit. I feel like its possible to tell if I fit with someone almost immediately, and I’ve had terrible kiss-fit with people I really felt connected to and amazing kiss-fit with guys I didn’t like at all. With Julian, we really fit well, and fell into a pretty intense make-out that felt really nice. It was also very nice kissing someone so attractive, although I have been with many attractive people, his body/skin/looks/smell was just so intoxicating. I kept thinking about how desirable he was, which maybe messed up my head a little bit because I was thinking too much of like, “Wait, why do you want to hang out with me?” instead of being present in the experience. Although I kept telling myself that logically I know I am pretty hot, but still… We ended up in his bed making out which was nice, and he kept sliding his hands down my pants, but it was that time of the month so I kept sliding them back up. I think maybe he thought I was just a tease and I let him think that because whatever. I ended up giving him a blow job which was nice because wow, its true what they say about black men, and also he was into it and came quickly. It’s always the worst when you’re going down on someone and they take forever or they seem not into it so you feel bad about your skills. Anyways, it was great and he asked me to stay over but I ended up leaving because I wanted to be home in the morning.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hookup, it felt great because our kissing styles were on point, and he was extremely good in bed. He just knew how to touch me and hold me and he was so big, over six foot, biceps, abs, huge *member*. I felt so feminine next to him, since I’m 5’6″ and 125 lbs. I couldn’t get over how attractive he was, which I think led to some insecurities. I also felt a bit dominated by him, which was good sexually but didn’t help me to relax and be more comfortable. I kept grabbing his hands up from my pants, and I could tell he was wanting me more and more and more, and that was a bit fun, as I could how desired I was by this huge, highly attractive man. Obviously I have no physical powerful over him, aka, he could crush me, but lo-and-behold something about me crushes him too. After we were laying around, just cuddling, I grabbed his hand and started sucking on his fingers and he looks at me and says, “mmmm don’t toy with me” all flirty and I thought that was super cute. He was super cute and super nice, so I can’t quite figure out why I felt uncomfortable but also comfortable? Like I didn’t feel pressured or anything and he was making an effort to make me feel good, but maybe I still just feel like he’s out of my league, although I know I am actually quite beautiful in my own right… gosh who knows.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He texted me the next day. I was happy, and I hope to see him again, I just wish I could feel more comfortable around him. I hope to hook up with him again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Haven’t talked to anyone. I talked to my mom about “meeting a new guy” but I obviously didn’t tell her about the hook-up part about it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sexual chemistry/attraction between me and my partner.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Feeling that my partner was too attractive for me/being insecure/being a bit uncomfortable, like feeling not up to the standards that someone like him would be with.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A bit. I think I need to work on my confidence or find people who I feel more comfortable with.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Gosh, he’s so hot. Oh my god.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex, I think it is a learning opportunity. I have developed great friendships out of casual sex. I don’t believe its bad, but I also do think its sometimes nicer to be more intimate/emotionally close with someone to have better sex. Sometimes having great sex is just feeling secure in what’s happening.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it!
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