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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 53
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Retired military
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Closet dwelling gay leaning
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 17
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

Surprise at the River

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2yrs

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this gentleman at a boat launch/park by the river. He was an older gentleman, with a white mustache, friendly smile and very short shorts. He was sitting in a camp chair “reading” a book. I had never seen him there before, and was surprised to see him in my usual spot for a quick skinny dip. When he smiled at me, I immediately got aroused, and got that desperate feeling. The one that I always get when I think of other men.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had been managing a property out of town, and had to do yard work from time to time. I always passed a boat launch by the river and had even checked it out once. After some time, I began to give in to the desires I had suppressed for so long, and checked out several gay porn and hookup sites. I had two or three quick hookups late at night in other men’s homes, but had always loved the idea of having sex outdoors or in public, even when I was totally straight. I looked up popular cruising sights online, and much to my surprise, the boat launch popped up. With that in mind, I started stopping there whenever I had finished yard work for a quick skinny dip, and an occasional naked stroll through the woods. Although that was exciting and fun, I never met anyone, until that day. I changed into my tightest cycling shorts as usual, put on my peach tank top, and drove to the launch. When I arrived, I noticed a straight couple leaning against their truck making out. I decided to go to my usual spot anyway, and as I turned the corner found an older gentleman sitting in his camp chair “reading” looking out over my spot. I stopped and managed a hello, then hesitantly moved down to the waters edge. Although I had dreamt of this moment, I guess I had never really expected it to happen. I took off my tank top, and turned around to put it down. He was watching me!! I got so aroused, I had to adjust myself. Embarrassed, I looked down as I adjusted, and when I looked up, I knew I was going to fulfill my dream encounter. He had adjusted his half erect penis so that it was sticking out the leg of his very short denim shorts.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When I saw his penis sticking out like that, and looked at him to see him looking me calmly in the eye, I said the first thing that came to my mind. “Do you need some help with that?” I could not believe I had said it, and I could hardly breathe. He stroked it, smiled, and said, “I don’t know. What do you think?” He was toying with me, and seemed to want me to make the first move. I paused, looked toward the parking lot, realized the couple were still there and could probably see him sitting there. Part of me screamed to leave, but the other part of me screamed for me to go to him and do what I longed to do, needed to do. I looked back at him and realized he now had a full erection that was straining to go back up his shorts leg. I looked him in the eye and took off my own shorts, freeing my own erection, and told him I thought he definitely “needed some help with that!” I walked back up the bank, got on my knees, and with shaking hands, pulled his shorts down. His penis was quite thick, larger than mine, and my first uncut penis up close. I looked up at him as I stroked it and he looked back at me calmly. I looked down at his penis as it began to stiffen and swell even more. I admired the hood, as I had never seen one up close, then I took him into my mouth and began to give him the very best blow job I could. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the couple staring at us, and oddly enough, I did not care. In fact, their presence aroused me even more, and I gave them a discreet wave. She gasped, giggled, and kissed him. Then she looked back at me, waved, and copied my position. I almost passed out from all the excitement. Here I was, a married, “straight”, son of a preacher, former military macho-man, sucking another man’s penis while another guy watched me as he got his own blowjob!! My guy grabbed my head several times and forced me down harder onto his penis. At one point he held me down tight, so that his penis was down my throat and I gagged a bit. He groaned, and told me to finish him. I did. I was still deciding whether to swallow his load or not, when he began to moan, grabbed my head and began thrusting into my throat. As he began to get nearer to orgasm, I decided I wanted to know what swallowing was like. I did. He came longer and harder than I thought he would, and he kept pumping my throat for a while after. I discovered that I LOVE the taste of cum, and the way it feels in my mouth and throat. I stole a quick look at the couple, and she was standing up. She kissed him, turned towards us, wiped her mouth dramatically, smiled, gave me an a-ok sign, winked, stuck her tongue out, and giggled. I gave her a thumbs up where my guy couldn’t see. He finally stopped thrusting, sat for a second, then reached down past me and pulled up his shorts. I asked if he came here often, and he said, sometimes, gathered his book, chair, and hat, and walked away. He stopped a few yards away, turned and said thanks, you’re pretty good at that, and left. I knelt there for a moment feeling pretty proud of myself, then got in the water for a moment. I decided that I was going to go for one more shocking thing and walked back past the couple, to my car, without putting anything back on. When I got to my car, I realized he had her bent over the trunk of the car next to theirs and was really giving it to her. Because I was to the side, he really couldn’t see me, and she seemed pretty involved as well, so I started jerking off. As I reached closer to a climax, thinking of my recent encounter, I felt as if I was being watched, and sure enough, she had turned her head, and was smiling at me as I completely lost control and climaxed in plain view. At that moment, I decided I was not aroused so much by her sex, but by the fact that at last, someone else knew that I sucked penis…that I was most likely bisexual at least…oh what the hell, that finally, someone knew I was gay. Never before had I felt so free and at peace as at that moment. (Of course don’t get it twisted, I dutifully returned to my assigned closet!)

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I have often thought of that day. I really was attracted to him even before he showed me his penis. I would love to meet him again, give him another blow job, caress his body, and let him make love to me. Something tells me that is not what he is looking for, but I can dream can’t I? I often close my eyes and jerk off to that memory. The only troublesome fact…he looks just like my father-in-law, and now, I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to do the same thing to him (f-in-law). In fact, the last time I visited my father-in-law, I sat where my balls hung out a bit, until I got scared and covered up.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have not spoken to anyone, ever! Although, as I mentioned, the girl who saw us knows, and somehow that is a consolation for me.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It so closely fit a dream I had been having for years. The spontaneity, the audacity, and the audience.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Two things. That I haven’t seen him again, and that he didn’t bend me over and screw me like the three dollar whore I wanted to be at the time.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I am now certain that I am gay, and in another life would gladly announce it to the world. The fact that another man found me attractive enough to signal for sex, and thought I was good at it…priceless. As for casual sex, I am afraid it has caused me to be less “protective”. I love the feel and taste of another man in my mouth, and-as I later discovered-inside me. I know the dangers, and they do worry me, but I have such limited opportunities to fulfill my desire for men, that I don’t want to limit myself.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I have decided I love outdoor sex so much because if someone sees me, it is like me telling someone about my homosexuality, something I cannot do in “real life”.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My entire life I have been taught that we are built for one woman and one woman only. My entire life, I have been drawn outside of my established relationships, and my marriage. I believe we are actually more naturally built for pleasure than we realize, and wish society could lighten up a bit. I would love to be able to have casual, safe, fun, sex, with friends, strangers, coworkers, etc, and it not be a big deal. Hell, I would just love to be able to tell everyone I am attracted to their fathers and brothers…that I am gay. By the way, I am typing this 4 feet away from my wife who has no clue. I know I should feel bad, but I don’t. I know society calls me a cheat and a cad, a heartless, evil, dog, and I don’t care. Though I love my wife as a person, I do not feel bad about the men I have met for sex. I have always felt guilty about sex…but not this sex? Oh yeah, as far as safe sex…she and I haven’t had sex for over three years now. I think part of that is because I respect her too much not to tell her about the dangers involved if I did. I am still a cad though.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is fantastic. It has given me a chance to say what I cannot ever say, anywhere else. It lets me tell “you” that I-mr macho-am a fawning little girl when a man touches me, and makes love to me, and not fear the end of the world. Thank you.

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