What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 45
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Financial services
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 75
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Taking Turns

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was about mid forties, six foot tall, maybe 195 lbs, shaved head with an arm band tattoo and I bumped into him outside a coffee shop and joked about his tattoo. He was very masculine and well kept and my first thought was he was running a stud service for all the married women who were bored of their husbands or tired of them being out of shape. I said you better not come around my house, the wife might go crazy for your look, adding you know how bored they can get. I also added to save face the comment – if you do you have to go down on me first. It was a bold comment statement. His reply was if she is married to you – I would be happy to do both.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it?  No planning or minimal planning. I told him that his offer was great and that I am around the corner if you want to try me out first. Literally, I was one block away and I said if you are serious – meet me in 10 minutes at my address. No way did I think he would show up. But ten minutes later he was there. I let him in and literally said – my wife loves your look and would fuck you under the right circumstances. Then I asked what his status was and why he showed up. He said he was married and that I know the deal – things slow down a bit I and he was looking for excitement. There was a sort of mutual understanding of what it was like to be – well – married. He said – you know what I mean and then he was unzipping my pants- so he started it. I was sort of shocked, but my curiousness took over and let him to what he wanted. And then he engulfed me with his mouth and was performing quite superbly. Here I was a married guy and getting a hummer from a random, supposedly married guy.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As he started to give me head, I was sort of nervous. But that faded as I took my pants off and sat down. He planted himself between my legs and just went from top to bottom and back again. I was nervous that the nanny might show up but knew she was gone for most of the day. He told me to relax and kept on going. Then he said – I have to let my dick out. Sucking you off is making me harder than hell. He stood up and dropped his pants. I was sort of blown away – he had a very generous sized unit. It was impressive, clean, large and right in front of me. I am not sure what or why but I started sucking on it. So that is what it is like to give head not bad. We proceeded to swap and then took turns in 69 position. All the while, I am thinking what if someone shows up. What if he is really a GWM (Gay White Male) posing as married for kicks. I was nervous but excited. The only discussion that came up was where we would come and how. We decided mutual and on each other. As soon as I came – I was like what am I doing. I scrambled to get back to a less vulnerable state. The discussion at the end was – brief. He said if you ever need to get off – let me know. And if you ever need a 3rd let me know. He left giving me his number.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterwards, I was in the shower and then I took a tablespoon of cough medicine – to cleanse my throat. I reflected on this and was conflicted. First it was hot and satisfying but uncertain because he was a stranger followed by shame. I questioned my masculinity. Then concluded – if I liked it – so what. Then there was some marital guilt. I mean what the F was I doing.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Some guilt over indulging in a guilty pleasure, fear of STDs

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Empowering, feeling desired, taboo, rawness

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Secret, in the dark, societally considered shameful, discovery, wanting more

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? My dating pattern was largely non-monogamous. Literally, I had 2-3 simultaneous girlfriends for over 10 years, my pattern was to juggle – and never commit. So casual sex was a right and I enjoyed the novelty of doing whatever whenever.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Since then – we have hooked up 2 more times and now I am trying to get my wife to join.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It needs to not be such a stigma. People need novelty and variety. People should embrace, share and fuck more – not judge those that do and can.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Bring it, we need more open minds – more stories because they are happening every minute.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!