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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 48
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Amsterdam
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? L&D
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Tantric Foreigner

How long ago did this hookup happen? A few months

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met through an app online. He wasn’t the hottest guy but had a beautifully toned body and best of all, he was intelligent & into polyamory. This was what I was looking for.
After a long monogamous relationship, I was eager to get to know more about polyamory.
I told him I wasn’t planning on traveling for sex but was very interested in his lifestyle. We chatted for months. Sometimes we discussed politics or family topics, but mostly sex. We told one another about our hookups and relationships…he was into BDSM. I’m not so much, just a bit kinky, but interested in the how & why & sensations. I was convinced I’d never meet him so I asked him more than I would dare with anyone IRL.
Then, because a job offer didn’t work out, I had a week of spare time so I asked him how he felt about me traveling to see him. It was by far the biggest distance I had traveled for sex ever.
I was nervous: what if there was no chemistry? We already knew we weren’t each other’s perfect match, physically.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Well, I did. He reacted positively & I arranged the trip. And we agreed that in case of “no chemistry,” I’d go to a hotel alone.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After some talk at dinner and walking around his city, I felt at ease. I already knew in detail what he was capable of. I just had to tell him what I liked and didn’t like.
I let him know I didn’t want anything involving ropes, didn’t want to leave with any marks on my body. But I did like some pain, wanted to try to be choked and was very curious about his tantra experience.

We went to his place, talked and kissed a bit more and then we just went off. The first session was quite rough. I was so turned on, it was “eat and be eaten.” I enjoyed his toned body (he’s a dancer), he enjoyed my soft big ass and when I begged him he smacked my ass…We didn’t fuck though. Not that first round. Just lots of tongues and fingers.
We laughed, drank some water, talked and he started to touch my skin with a delicate hand…I didn’t do much but listen to him, enjoy the touch, turned in positions he wanted me to…softly kissed and caress him but mostly just enjoy his hands and body. On me. In me. I really don’t know what he did to me, I just had multiple orgasms. Squirted for the first time in my life. It became harder to catch my breath while he went on giving me a massage. He asked me if I wanted to try some other things I’d mentioned before.
He choked me while touching my clitoris: I immediately had a strong high orgasm.
I sucked his very long penis, tried to deepthroat him but could only for 2 or 3 strokes.
We fucked in various positions. He fixated my arms with a scarf.
He fisted me on demand. I sucked him until he came and had his sperm all over my face and tits.
After we finished, he fell asleep and I just couldn’t…I was so intensely satisfied, really was on a high. After a few hours I went down on him again…licked him till he was awake and stonehard, I turned my ass towards him and he fucked my brains out.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had breakfast and talked about some of the things he did to me. And about some of our other lovers & how to make it work. It was very satisfying in so many ways. Taking full control of my pleasure. Letting go and giving him full control over me. Talking about it in detail afterward. All new experiences for me.
We said goodbye, I traveled back home, and we continued until this day to tell each other about our other experiences. No other future, we might meet again, might not. I felt satisfied and proud.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends and my other lovers, though not so in detail. Some even cheered!
A fwb enjoyed some of what I’ve learned.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that I chose to go to him to enjoy myself, telling him what I didn’t want and what I was curious about. Felt powerful.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Maybe just the mattress hahaha.. this spartan dancer uses a thin one while my big body likes a big one.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I feel more self-confident.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Take Tantra lessons people!

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I didn’t have casual sex until after my marriage. Everybody should be conscious about what they do and don’t want and act accordingly. Mono or Poly, het/gay/bi, it’s fine as long no one gets hurt. I prefer honesty.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great.
Some stories turn me on. Some I think “wow really?” Some I think “oh darlin’ please take better care of yourself.” It broadens my view of sexuality. Very great.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!