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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 34
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Toronto
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? IT
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Sexually obsessed nerd learning to be a player
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Tantric Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Lois on a dating site. She is 34. Short brown hair. A corrections officer. 5’4″ and about 140 pounds. We spoke a bit on the phone while setting up a date. She sounds like a calm person, easy going and level-headed. Somewhere, we talked about tantric sex. She said it’s about staying still and both patners synchronizing their breathing. But she can never do it because the urge to get into motion was always too much. I liked hearing her talk about sex like this. She sounded sexual. Me: a year ago, I found my stride after a lifetime drought of sex. I stopped approaching women that were out of my league. Lead with my upfront nerdy character, be articulate, hint that I have a very well paying job (which I do), and give the relationship vibe upfront. It worked. Lois was a perfect example of connecting with someone of interest. She had an attractive face. She sounded like she has a nice personality. She was a little heavier than my liking. But her talk about sex had me hooked.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met for drinks after I got off from work. There was not a lot of chemistry, but we got along, and the conversation was pleasant. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I checked out her legs. Though she was heavier set, she was athletic and nicely toned. I could see myself having sex with her. I upped the energy level and positive vibe. We kissed good-bye with a promise to have dinner later in the week. I set up a dinner date two days later. After dinner we went back to her place for drinks.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had nice and casual conversation over drinks in her living room. After a little while, I just asked her, “do you want to try that tantric sex we talked about?” I said it with a straight face. It was calm and natural, no sexual flirting or anything beforehand. I think she was surprised by the question. She asked if I ever tried that before. I said no, but I’d like to try it with you. With that, she agreed. We both got up, went to her bedroom and started taking off our clothes. There was no foreplay as we both stripped. I was aroused that we were both getting to business in so straight forward a way. My cock was hard the moment my pants came off. i started massaging her body and looking into her eyes. I made a comment that this was like the warm-up before getting into the real yoga. She said we don’t talk in tantric sex. We just look into each other’s eyes and concentrate on non-verbal communication. I penetrated her and pushed my cock in as deep as I could and left it still. I tightened my muscles at the base of my cock on and off as I tried to maintain my erection. I could feel her tigtening and relaxing her pussy on and off around my cock. Meanwhile we were both synchronizing our breathing and looking deep into each other’s eyes. The room was silent, but I could feel a loud and strong emotional connection. After about 5 or 10 minutes, it was too much. I inhaled with a short breath of excitement and she did too. With that, we exploded into action with me fucking her hard, and she got into rythm with just as much energy.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We both enjoyed it. We agreed that it was hard to maintain a tantric connection. The urge to fuck is too much, but it’s fun. I didn’t sleep over, since she had to work the next day. We did line up another date a week later. We went cycling, had dinner, and had more sex again. Longer term, I’m not looking for a relationship. If she brings this up, I’ll deal with it then.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got laid within three days of meeting her, and tried tantric sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing at all.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I love casual sex. I have an ego problem because of my inexperience from my younger days, but now I have gained the maturity and self-awareness on how to go about this. My aim is to have sex with 5 to 8 new partners this summer. I need to make up for lost time and hope to double my number of lifetime partners by the end of this year. This may sound crass to say, but it’s an experience I need to go through now.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’d like to keep this fling going until it runs its course.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Attractive people have an easier time getting sex and relationships. For the rest of us, I can see there is trauma and negative self-image from getting hurt in our youth. This can lead, as in my case, to trying to over-compensate. If only hook-ups were easier at a younger age.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s nice to share.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!