What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 34
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Montpelier, Vermont
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Medical Field
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was everything that gets me turned on. He looked like the end of the world. He was about 5’10”, tanned from the Cali sun, dark dirty blonde hair with a hard part and handsome trimmed hair cut, and light blue eyes. He wasn’t shredded, but he had more of a swole body. He surely was muscular, but swole. He had a tattoo on every body part. My God. He had tattoos in the places that turn me on the most- the neck, the tops of the hands and fingers, and inner biceps. He had a sly bad boy smile, and his canine teeth were sharper- pointier than most peoples’. Vampiric almost- my ultimate weakness. His aura was bad boy.
I met him that day, he was going to tattoo me.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was in town for a conference. I work in the medical field, in a profession that does not really allow me to travel much, but the company was paying for me to go and I thought that traveling for free sounded fun. Unfortunately, the company only approved for one employee to go, so that meant I would go alone. I was in California for the conference, Los Angeles. The conference was 5 days long and most of the meetings let out by 2 pm, so I had the evenings free to explore the city. I live in Vermont, so this was a pretty cool thing for me. I love tattoos, and I love getting them by lots of different talented artists, so I knew I wanted to get a tattoo while I was in town. I had it planned before I even arrived and carefully selected an artist based on they type of tattoos that they specialized in, mostly through online searches. I had contacted the Artist a few times by text message prior to the appointment regarding the tattoo I wanted etc.
I went to the tattoo shop pretty nervous. I have other tattoos, but I never had one done on my stomach before. I knew it was going to hurt like hell. And I was alone. Miles and miles away from Vermont. Miles and miles and miles away from my friends and family and anyone that knew me.
I am married, I have the best husband in the world. He is caring, smart supportive and amazing. I am living the dream. I have a house in suburbia, a beautiful 4 year old daughter, and I even have a dog. I have a job that I love. I have the life everyone wants. My husband and I have not had our spark sexually for 6 years now. He is the only man I have ever been with. Recently I had spent time contemplating life, and what people get to do in their years alive, and would I have done the things I wanted in my small life.
I went to the tattoo shop to get my tattoo. I was nervous to be alone, and I wanted the tattoo on my stomach, a very sensitive spot that I had never been tattooed on before. The worst part is- I am a huge nerd. I mean, I snort when I laugh, I have tripped over my own two feet more times than I can count and I love graphic novels. I have thick black nerd glasses.
I try to make up for it though, by doing my make up nicely. I always wear 50’s style cat-eye eyeliner, & bright red lips. I have a straight waist, ever since I had my child. I am 5’7” with 34 E size chest, I weigh about 175 lbs. I’m not skinny, but not fat. I have broad shoulders and strong arms, I try to work out. I have a half sleeve of tattoos and a few small various ones all over the rest of my body.
I sit in the waiting area wishing I had two drinks in me.
Out from the back walks sex on two legs. A serpent. A demon. He introduces himself as Julian, my tattoo artist whom I had asked to do my tattoo. Great. He is sexy as hell. I spill out some word diarrhea. I think I manage to tell him about placement and color, and he tells me it will be a bit so he can set up etc. I chose him based on the portfolio online, and the style of tattoos he specializes in and nothing more. Why did he have to be so hot?
The receptionist can see I am nervous, which I tell her I am because stomach tattoos are painful. She offers me some gin that she keeps in her car. She fills a huge plastic cup of it. I drink the whole thing. He’s ready to tattoo me. I am feeling warm and fuzzy. I think the gin will help me but it just makes me laugh-snort harder than ever, and ask annoying nerdy questions.
He yells at me to keep still and stop talking because he is trying to tattoo straight lines. It hurts a lot. I bite my bottom lip hard. He asks me to turn this way and that. It is impossible to not show him my tits at various times due to placement of the stencil. He is hovering over me, and I am occasionally touching his arms pointing at tattoos I like. I try to clench my thighs together under my short jean skirt to relieve some pressure, it helps a little, but does not help the wetness. He is a sexy sex-demon tattooing me, causing me pain and I like it- it is arousing me.
He is done tattooing me, and he is taping up my fresh tattoo. It looks awesome, but it is impossible not to show him my full rack as he is bandaging me. I catch him pause and hesitate for the slightest moment, then continues taping me up. I feel like this must have been in my head. Men usually aren’t interested in me. I usually don’t catch guys being interested in me.
I am drunk, I tip him a lot. I go to leave, but he wants to chat a bit. I overshare telling him I am here for a conference, and my last night in LA is tomorrow night. I tell him I’m here alone. I tell him I’m from Vermont and I’ll probably never visit LA again. I can’t put my bra back on due to the fresh wounds, so my tits are just under my thin tee shirt. He hugs me goodbye, aggressively. He squeezed me tight so my tits press into his broad hard chest, and nuzzles his face into my neck. I can hardly walk, my breathing gets so shallow after than and I try not to trip over my feet as I wait outside for my uber to the hotel.
The next day was st patricks day. I had some meetings in the morning, but then just had a dinner planned at the hotel restaurant. Nothing big, then home the next morning. St Patricks day is a day for 20 somethings and 30 somethings to drink and hang with their groups of friends and get wild. I was on a conference, and wanted to not miss my flight.
Around 2 pm I get a text. It was Julian, wanting to know what I was doing that night. Fucking Julian. This serpent sent to tempt me. Why wouldn’t he be out partying with his friends for the holiday?
“Netflix and chill.” I replied. He wanted to come and see me before I left. I should have stopped him and said ‘no’. I knew he would poison my brain- and my life. I told him where I was at, thinking he probably wouldn’t actually show up. I was not going to go to him. I would not make efforts to see him… but if he fell towards me….
11:30 and he texts saying he is out with friends and got a ride to the hotel. He will be here shortly. I didn’t hold my breath. I thought for sure he was fucking with me. I must have said something, and he’s playing with me. I was just chilling in my room, watching tv, and eating a dessert I brought up from the hotel restaurant. I was hanging out in a tank top and sweatpants. At least I left my make up on. The hotel had given me a room with 2 queen beds because that was all they had left, and obviously I didn’t need the other bed, but I wasn’t going to complain since the room was big.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? “you better not be asleep.” He texts, and there is a knock at the door. The hotel had doors that open up to a walkway, and overlooks a fountain. He wanted to finish his smoke before coming in, and he brought drinks. He hugs me. He smells like Burbon, smoke, man, fear, and danger. I should have run.
He was everything that gets me turned on. He looked like the end of the world. He was about 5’10”, tanned from the Cali sun, dark dirty blonde hair with a hard part and handsome trimmed hair cut, and light blue eyes. He wasn’t shredded, but he had more of a swole body. He surely was muscular, but swole. He had a tattoo on every body part. My God. He had tattoos in the places that turn me on the most- the neck, the tops of the hands and fingers, and inner biceps. He had a sly bad boy smile, and his canine teeth were sharper- pointier than most peoples’. Vampiric almost- my ultimate weakness. His aura was bad boy. Naughty, and as soon as I saw him standing at my door I knew I was in trouble.
We drank a lot, and talked a bit. He wasn’t intelligent. He was great at art, but there wasn’t much to him. I knew he was a fuckboy. I don’t even think he is someone I’d be friends with- but he was fucking sexy. I noticed he kept readjusting his dick in his shorts. He was hard from the moment he came into the room, and I found it strangely sexy. He wanted me. I was drunk soon.
He was next to me in bed and I don’t know how it happened, but we were eventually kissing. I had never been kissed like this. There was a lot of open mouth tongue to tongue, a nasty, sexy kiss that I loved. He was so good at kissing. He tasted like booze, and smoke, and danger. I was shaking, I was being tempted by evil. This was wrong but I was practically coming just from kissing him. He was laying on top of me, his hard muscular chest pressed into mine, and suddenly he was pulling off my pants with my panties. I took off his shirt, he took off mine. His finger was circling my clit. I was moaning, already on edge. The way he moved, with such experience and confidence was something I wasn’t used to. My hands were fumbling at his board shorts, I couldn’t figure them out. He reached down and took care of them himself. That’s when I saw they were some sort of Velcro tie shorts I never would have figured out. I took his dick in my hand. He was hard. He wasn’t long or thick. Maybe 6 inches not very thick, and this surprised me, but what his hand was doing to my pussy was perfect. I don’t even know what he was doing but I came, and when I come I squirt. I forgot to warn him, but I was drunk and in a state of disbelief/ and bliss.
“wait wait wait! I don’t have a condom!” I manage to whisper out. He couldn’t believe I didn’t have one. I have an IUD so I don’t use them at home. “damn” he says, then continues fingering me and kissing me perfectly, I am moaning very loudly and I can’t stand it, I need his dick in me. He doesn’t ask and just pushes in. I come right away. It’s very wet down there now. I have never come upon the first entry of dick before, but I did then. His broad hard chest pushing into mine, his warm tattooed skin. His hard nipples were pierced with small silver bars though them. My fucking god he has the word “California” tattooed over his right eyebrow. I moan loud and come again. If you’re keeping track that’s three orgasms so far. I reach up my hands and choke him. He doesn’t pull away, his eyes bulge, and the veins in his forehead pop, I’m close to coming again. I’ve never felt like choking my husband during sex, but I wanted to choke Julian. It was a love hate thing. He was fucking me like I’d never been fucked before, but I hated him too for ruining me. And I hated myself too.
He isn’t coming and wants to change positions. I flip over, thinking he can fuck me from behind. Instead he spits on his dick, which was so fucking hot. And he pushes into my asshole. “Ouch!” I shout, I have never had anal before, or pushed anything into my ass. He pulls out a little, then pushes all the way in. It hurts but I fucking love it. I actually ask him to pull my hair and call me a slut. Which he does perfectly. I ask him how it feels, “Oh god my cock feels so good in your asshole.” I look at him and the veins are bulging in his neck, and his face is red. He reaches his arm around and chokes me from behind. It feels amazing and I love it, I deserve this punishment. I pull his arm away after a bit. “Fuck my pussy.” I say.
He flips me over and fucks me more. His chest glistening sweat and he is breathing hard. He is grunting and I love how it sounds. I love how vocal he is. His voice turns me on. “Lick it.” I whisper jaggedly. He grunts loudly like he couldn’t be more excited and immediately dips his head down and flicks his tongue over my clit vigorously, and he sticks fingers in my pussy again and slaps my clit repeatedly with his other hand and I come loud and squirt a large amount. I came so hard that I thought I wouldn’t be able to stop. I squirted bucket-fulls. He then says suddenly that he is dizzy. He thinks he’s had too much to drink and that is why he can’t come.
When I shake the sweet bliss of orgasm from my brain, I tell him “its ok. I came like 4-5 times. “
“yeah I know, look at the bed, you soaked it. “ I look down finally and realize that the bed is soaking wet, over half of it wet with my squirted fluids.
“Yeah…..I should have warned you, sorry.” I say sheepishly.
“Actually…. It was kind of awesome.” He laughs, and directs me to the other bed. He wants to lay down and watch tv next to me. Its over.
I can’t sleep. He is snoring a base tone so loud that the room was pounding like a dance club. I lay awake in bed next to him for an hour or two, and then it’s 7 am. I feel sick, and disgusted. I had told him earlier to never contact me again. I showered and left my hotel room. I took all of my belongings and hid in the hotel restaurant eating breakfast. He could let himself out, I had already checked out and asked the desk to give a wake up call 15 minutes before actual check out time. He was the best sex i’ve ever had, but I wish I could forget him.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was disgusted with myself. I’m still disgusted. I have quelled the fear of living life never knowing anything but my husband, and I feel ok for that, but living every day with a secret is a terrible punishment. I deserve the worst. I hate how much I loved fucking Julian, I hate how I think about that night sometimes.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? It was a betrayal.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was the best sex i’ve ever had.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Everything. I wish I didn’t do it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am a horrible person. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be a better human.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I want to cry every day. I was curious and needed attention. I don’t know why I couldn’t just not crave sexual attention. Why couldn’t I just melt into a wall or something?
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I understand why people have casual sex when they are single. It is extremely awesome.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Its so wonderful.
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