What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? South America
What country and/or city do you live in? Bogotá, Colombia
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The Teacher That Taught Me Something Else
How long ago did this hookup happen? Three months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? All of my partners were older than me, and in most cases, we hooked up after one week of knowing each other, in the rest of cases, I just went over to their place and after a five-minute talk, we just started doing our thing. I met them online, one on Facebook, the other ones on Grindr, and the last one was a teacher from college. When I first started my sexual life, hooking up, I felt powerful, desired and beautiful, but with the time, I started feeling empty. After my last encounters, I couldn’t help thinking that I was worthless of having a real friend, or a real couple, I felt that anyone wanted to know the real me, to dive into my personality, that is, anyone was actually interested in the person I am, even though I showed all my interest in having a simple friendship.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was at the coordinator’s office, I was there to register for a test, so I had to leave my personal data, name, phone number, etc. But the person who was supposed to receive it wasn’t there, so I left my personal information to a teacher who was there. About ten minutes later, I receive a Whatsapp message from the same teacher, he asked how I was and invited me a coffee, so we went for it. Throughout the conversation, I noticed this really kinky look he was giving me, and I responded smiling. We kept in touch during that week and on Friday he asked me out for “dinner” which obviously meant sex. That morning, he gave me some money to have lunch. That afternoon, I was with my friends in the surroundings, we were smoking pot and drinking. By the time of our appointment, I was really high and kind of drunk. We took a taxi, he picked up his car, and we went straight to a motel. During the ride, he kept stroking his cock and putting my hand on it, which I thought was pretty exciting. Definitely, it wasn’t planned, I didn’t expect it to happen. Even though there was another male teacher who looked at me like a piece of meat, I would have never expected to fuck a teacher from my own university.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got to the motel, a lady came into the bedroom with us, she closed the curtains and made sure everything was ok, which actually made me feel very uncomfortable because at the time I was 22 and he was 60, although he looked good for his age. Finally she asked if we wanted something to drink, I asked for a bottle of watter just to feel a little bit less wasted. When she left the room, we started kissing and taking our clothes off. First, he laid on the bed, and I started sucking his dick, which was kinda big and thick. I liked the smell of his balls, that really turned me on. Then he wanted to fuck my ass, so he took a look at it and he kept reminding me how nice my ass was and felt. So, he put on a condom, and slowly started to fuck me. He tried some positions, that seemed like come out of a porn movie. There was a big mirror on one side of the room, and I could see a man, on top of me doing his thing, and I even could see how he came inside of me, with the condom on of course. I was expecting him to suck my dick, to kiss me, to touch my body, but that never happened. I admit that during it I felt that I was paying the money that he gave me early in the morning. Moreover, he never touched my dick, not even once, and I am not completely a bottom, so I wouldn’t describe him as a considerate, good lover. The short talk we had was all about this administrative boring bullshit from the university, and that was it. He didn’t care that I didn’t have an orgasm. After that, we just put our clothes on, and we were ready to leave.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, I felt used, like a generic object. The next day, I had to wake up early, because I had to give English classes at a small school, I felt hungover, confused, and dissatisfied because hooking up with that teacher wasn’t the exciting fulfilling experience I imagined it would be. My expectations were to keep in touch, and so we did. We fucked a couple of time more, but his attitude didn’t change much, despite the fact that I did have an orgasm, it just wasn’t good enough for me, which is why I decided to take a step back. Nowadays I’m not resentful about it, I’m just glad I had a different experience and that I learned from it.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Material rewards (gifts, money, drinks, dinner…), Boredom
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told about this to my best friend, a girl with an open mind, she was a little bit surprised when I revealed the details, she just told me to be careful.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best about it was that I could do what I thought was impossible, to hook up with someone from college, who was known by many.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst part about the hookup was that he wasn’t considerate, not what I expected, I thought that because he was much older than me, he would know stuff, that he would treat me the way I wanted him to.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, for sure. I learned that each person had different likes and styles, and that if I want to get something, I have to demand it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex was a way out of my solitude and my incapability to open up. Also, it was my way of feeling desired and good about myself. I’d like people to realize that they are not just fucking a plastic doll, they’re having an intimal experience with a sentient human being, who has expectations and desires. Also, I’d like to see more communication, even if it is a one night stand, the purpose must be to please yourself, of course, but also to do so with that partner who wants to receive the same thing.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This is revolutionary, and a good way to open up, even if it is in an anonymous way, and also it is a way to learn from other’s experiences.
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